


You've Got Ties

by huntersprey



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-10
Updated: 2012-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 08:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntersprey/pseuds/huntersprey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Adam and Tommy hooked up towards the end of the Glam Nation tour. They do what normal couples would do and are hopelessly in love. There is only one problem – Adam has a boyfriend, Aiden. So, their love for each other is kept a secret.</p><p>However, secrets can’t be kept forever. People start finding out about the affair and push them to do something to end it, one way or another. But has Adam kept Tommy waiting too long, or will he be able to finally be with the man he loves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got Ties

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own any characters that are real people. Please don't sue or show any of the people this is about
> 
> Notes: Written for lambliffbigbang.

 

 

 

Tommy cried out in pleasure as Adam thrust into him, his eyes squeezed shut. Adam’s hot breath tickled his neck, and he stretched his neck out, seeking something to press his lips against. Lips met his, and he sucked greedily on the tongue that slithered its way into his mouth. Panting into Adam’s mouth, he trailed his hand down his own body, finding and grasping his dick and pumping in time to the thrusts that hit his prostate again and again.

He let loose a wanton moan as he felt his orgasm rip through him, and fisted his hands into the bed sheets as Adam rolled his hips one last time before groaning out his completion. Arms wrapped around him, holding him close, and he smiled into the kiss that Adam gave him.

Adam knew that he wouldn’t be able to get up for at least five minutes now, so he got up and cleaned them both up. When he was done, he flopped back down on the bed with Tommy, curling his arms back around his slender frame.

“I love you,” Tommy whispered, looking up at Adam through his lashes.

“I love you, too,” Adam responded, throwing the covers over them as Tommy started to shiver.

Tommy nuzzled into his neck, his eyes slipping closed as the scent of Adam filled his nostrils. Sleep was just about to take him over when the familiar tune on Adam’s phone rang out in the comfortable silence.

He wished that Adam could just ignore it, that they could stay like this forever, entangled limbs binding them together, but he knew that they couldn’t. He heard Adam sigh, opening his eyes to see him reaching for his phone on the nightstand and answering with a frown.

“Hello?”

Tommy could only hear Adam’s side of the conversation, but he didn’t really want to hear any of it. He pushed up from Adam’s chest, getting dressed, though he couldn’t help but listen to what Adam was saying.

“Okay, baby. I’ll be back soon.” There was a slight pause, and then he spoke the words that always broke Tommy’s heart, no matter how many times he heard them spoken. “I love you. Bye.”

He tried to forget about the pain in his heart as Adam hung up, smiling apologetically at him. It was always like this: they’d get interrupted in their perfect fantasy, and Adam would run back home, leaving Tommy on his own. He should have gotten used to it by now, but every time it happened he felt like crying.

“Aiden’s got dinner ready. I really shouldn’t be any later than I already am,” Adam said as he changed, running his fingers through his hair to make it look less like he’d just had sex.

“I understand. It’s fine,” Tommy lied. Adam pulled him close and bent down to kiss him. It was slow and filled with passion and everything that he wanted all at the same time.

“We’ve got a rehearsal tomorrow, so I’ll see you there.”

Tommy nodded, his hair falling into his face, which Adam brushed away gently.

“See you then,” Tommy murmured, and Adam smiled and walked to the door, touching Tommy’s hand briefly before leaving.

As Tommy made his way further into the house, he tried to remember how he got into this mess, how he fell in love with a man he couldn’t even have for himself.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
When Tommy had turned up at the auditions, he hadn’t expected to get through at all. He was amazed when he got the job as bassist. As a band, they grew close almost immediately, but Tommy wasn’t as close to anyone as he was to Adam.

He didn’t know what it was, but they clicked as soon as they got into a proper conversation with each other. They shared the same sense of style, only Tommy edged more towards the punk side of rock than the glam. It was weird, because Tommy thought that he’d get along with Monte the most since he was one of his favourite guitarists, but though Monte grew to be like a mentor to him, there was something about the connection he had with Adam that couldn’t be matched.

They only grew closer when they had to live with each other on the bus during the Glam Nation tour. Tommy could remember how he would never get any sleep at night, and how he would crawl into Adam’s bed and they would talk endlessly into the early hours of the morning.

It was halfway through the tour when the kisses onstage seemed to get to him more than they had before. They had always gotten to him a little; he would have had to be blind not to see that Adam was beyond attractive. But he realized that he craved them, and he was always disappointed when Fever didn’t include the kiss.

He had always known he was bisexual, but he hadn’t been prepared for being attracted to his boss turned best friend. He knew that Adam assumed that he was straight already, having only ever heard Tommy talking about the women that he had been with.

He wanted to tell Adam the truth, that he liked men, but even if he did he didn’t know what he wanted to get out of it. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted anything. Sure, he was attracted to Adam, but it could have just been a crush. It didn’t have to mean anything.

Tommy was shocked when Adam first introduced him to his boyfriend. Apparently, they had been dating for a while. He couldn’t help feeling like he had missed out on his chance, that maybe if he had told Adam that he was bisexual he would be able to kiss and touch him anytime he wanted, without feeling like he was overstepping the boundaries of friendship.

He liked Aiden, though: Aiden looked up at Adam with an adoring smile, almost as if he was some god or something. And Tommy thought that at least Adam was with someone who seemed good for him.

Over the next few months of the tour, Tommy had tried to forget about his little crush, but it was pretty hard to when Adam was always there. It wasn’t like he could get any space from him either. Adam would know something was up if he hid away from him.

It was on the last night of the Glam Nation tour that it started. They were celebrating, and there was a lot of drink involved. Tommy didn’t think as he straddled Adam’s lap and caught his lips in a bruising kiss. He forgot all about Aiden, and how Adam thought he was straight, and, fuelled by the alcohol, acted on the desire running through him.

Adam kissed back, and it all happened so fast that before they knew it they were naked in a hotel room, Adam pounding into him while Tommy begged for more.

The next morning would have been comical if it wasn’t them it was happening to. When they opened their eyes and felt each other naked under the bedcovers, they sprang away from each other, each grabbing for their clothes to hide themselves. They avoided each other for the whole day, which was difficult, since they had always spent days on the bus together.

That night, though, Adam had told Tommy to come with him, and Tommy had sat down on Adam’s bed on the bus and waited for him to start talking. When he stayed silent, Tommy had told him that he wasn’t straight and that he had had a crush on him for a while now. Adam was surprised to say the least and admitted wanting Tommy from the first moment he saw him, but he had thought he was straight. As he told Tommy that he couldn’t break up with Aiden, the expression on his face was torn. Adam told him that he had had to help him come out to his friends and family when they started going out, and they had disowned him right away.

Adam confessed that he had felt like he was partly responsible for this, and that he was the only one Aiden had now. It would break him for Adam to leave him after all that he had went through, and Adam was the only person he could trust.

Tommy had shook his head, and told Adam that he didn’t need to break up with him, that they could just  fool around sometimes, no strings. Even though he felt bad for even suggesting doing something like this behind Aiden’s back, he couldn’t stop himself. He had gotten a taste of what he could have, and he only wanted that. Just the physical side of the relationship. Adam had agreed, his face guilty but wanting.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy dropped his head into his hands, forcing back the tears that were threatening to well up in his eyes. He didn’t know back then that what had started out as some fun would turn into something so much more serious. They had fallen in love, and Tommy could still remember when they had confessed to each other just how deep their feelings had progressed. He wished that he had known before the impact of his words: no strings. If only he could go back in time, he would have begged Adam to break up with Aiden, knowing that one day he would want him all to himself. Every little bit of him.

They used to only have sex from time to time, caring only about the sexual desire for each other that they needed to stave off. Now, they were seeing each other every week, not just for sex, but for dinners and walks and everything else a normal couple would do. Except for the fact that Adam had a boyfriend, of course.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Slipping through the front door, Adam greeted Aiden with a kiss on his cheek. He knew that if it was Tommy he was coming home to, he would have been more intimate, but with Aiden it was different.

He loved him, but just not how a man should love his boyfriend. He should have wanted to kiss him fully on the lips when he got home, push him back on the couch and make love to him like he had just done with Tommy. But they hardly had sex, it was only when Aiden instigated it. And when they did, it wasn’t anything like he had with Tommy. Aiden was cute enough, with his tousled mousy hair and his bright green eyes, but he wasn’t Tommy. He never would be.

Adam wished with all of his heart that he and Tommy could be together for real, no hiding behind closed doors and secret meetings, but open about their love for each other to their family and friends. However, he knew that that couldn’t happen, at least not yet anyway. He was hoping that once Aiden had gotten his life sorted, settled in to the gay lifestyle some more, maybe got some new friends who didn’t care about his sexuality, then he could leave him for Tommy without feeling quite so guilty.

He imagined what leaving him would do to Aiden, and cringed mentally. He was sure that it would break him. He wasn’t very confident since he had come out, only voicing his true opinions to Adam, knowing that he wouldn’t judge him like the others had in his life. He knew that he could trust Adam, and Adam hated breaking that trust. It made him feel truly terrible when he thought about. Aiden was a good guy, and he deserved so much more than Adam could give him. He deserved someone who could love him unconditionally, and _want_ to be with him all of the time. He looked at Aiden and saw all of what he was taking from him by staying with him. He was taking away a life with his true love, because he was so sure that somewhere out there would be someone who would kill to be with Aiden, and would cherish him like he was something precious.

He ate the food Aiden had prepared for them, only talking to ask about each other’s days once or twice. Aiden asked how his jamming with Monte had gone, and he lied that it had gone really well. It wasn’t usually like this, but every night that Adam had come home from seeing Tommy, he found that he hadn’t been able to make much conversation with him. Maybe it was the guilt, or maybe it was because he was too busy thinking about Tommy. About the sadness in his eyes as he watched him walk away and the slight tremble to his bottom lip whenever he listened to his and Aiden’s conversations.

He washed up, telling Aiden to go and get in bed and he would be right with him. He considered sending a quick text to Tommy, just wanting to hear from him before he went to sleep. But after a few moments hesitation, he decided against it. It would only cause the both of them pain, to know that they were so close yet so far away, not where they were supposed to be. He was interrupted from his thoughts by Aiden, who peeked his head around the door, smiling sheepishly.

“Hey, are you gonna be long? You know how I can’t sleep without you with me.”

This was another thing that made Adam want to stay. He knew how much Aiden needed him, and he knew that one day that need would die down like a blazing fire without enough oxygen to keep it going. But for now, he was going to stick by his side and make him realize what a beautiful person he was so he could grow. Sometimes, he felt that Aiden wasn’t strong enough for the big bad world, but he knew deep inside that he was strong. He just had to believe in himself, and Adam was there to help him with that.

He hoped that one day, Aiden would be able to be independent, not relying on Adam for every single little thing. And he would be able to sleep on his own, not needing Adam to rock him back to sleep when he had dreams of his family shunning him for being who he was.

Adam was hopeful that he would bring the real Aiden back full-force, the energetic Aiden that he had known before he’d came out to his family and friends. He was slightly more reserved now, not around Adam, but around other people who he didn’t know. He felt like it was almost his mission to get Aiden back to how he was before. He just couldn’t give up on him, not when he needed him most. He valued his friends in the same way.

Padding to the bedroom and sliding under the covers after changing out of his clothes, he gave Aiden a warm smile as he wrapped his arms around his from behind. The movement sent a waft of Aiden’s cologne up Adam’s nose, and he bent his head down and sniffed his own arm subtly, properly smiling this time when all he smelt was Tommy. The last thing he thought of as he drifted off was the one who he couldn’t call his own.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam woke in the morning to see Aiden already up, dressed and turning to him with a grin.

“What are you so happy about?” he asked, already thinking of how he would see Tommy again today, and how his bright smile and laughter would burn away the image of his sadness last night.

“I’m going with you to your rehearsal today,” he announced, not noticing Adam’s tiny frown as he checked his pockets for his phone.

“Why? I mean, aren’t you working today?”

“No, I asked my boss and he said I could have the day off. I always like to see you sing, and I hardly ever get to go to your rehearsals with you because of work.” Aiden worked in a coffee house, which was where they had met. Adam usually scheduled rehearsals on his work days purposely so that he wouldn’t come along with him.

Adam’s heart dropped in his chest. No, Adam and Tommy couldn’t display their feelings because the band didn’t know about them, but at least they could have had their own private talks, which usually resulted in Adam getting hard from Tommy’s dirty little tongue. Now that Aiden was coming along, they wouldn’t be able to have those talks for fear of being caught.

“That’s great, honey,” Adam lied. Fortunately he was a good actor, so he could get away with it. Aiden nodded enthusiastically and pecked him on the lips before walking to the bathroom with a bounce in his step.

Adam liked seeing Aiden happy, and he was certainly happy about going to his rehearsal. Every now and then, the old Aiden shone out of him when he was in a good mood, and Adam was confident that he could use this time to push the growth in him forward.

Adam sighed heavily and lay back down on the bed. This wasn’t exactly how he had planned today to turn out. Reaching for his phone, he bit his lip at his screensaver, which was a picture of him and Aiden. Then, he thumbed through his gallery until he found the pictures he wanted. They were ones of him and Tommy, some of them taken while they were posing ridiculously and some of them were taken as they were kissing fiercely.

Obviously, he had had to lock this folder so that only someone who knew the password could get in and see them. He kept them there to look at when he felt down, and they were more than enough to cheer him up, even as a part of him twisted painfully at what he was doing to Aiden.

 All of these mixed emotions got to him sometimes. One moment he wanted to hold Tommy in his arms and the next he wanted to just help Aiden grow. There was a good feeling involved in both moments, but he couldn’t always get a perfect balance of the two.  He tried to focus on the positives, though, knowing that if he let himself dwell over how selfish he was being, he would put himself into a negative mood, which wasn’t something that went down well in rehearsals. He gave one last look to the pictures as he listened to Aiden’s enthusiastic singing in the shower.

A smile now plastered on his face, he scrambled off the bed and hopped over to his makeup bag.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy had asked Monte if he could drive him to the studio space they had paid for because his car had broken down on him. That was how he ended up being interrogated by Monte about why he was in such a cheerful mood.

“What do you mean I’m not usually cheerful?” he huffed in frustration.

Monte shrugged. “You’re not really the smiley type, Tommy. Anyone can see that.”

Tommy made a point of beaming, and Monte snorted. “I do smile, okay? I’m just not caught smiling often!” he whined.

“Yeah, I do see you smile.” His voice sounded as if he wanted to add something to that, but thought better of it. Tommy just decided to ignore it, straightening in his seat when he saw the studio come into focus. Noticing Monte glance at him suspiciously, he tried to put on his signature pout instead, but it really wasn’t happening today.

After Monte parked the car, Tommy hopped out and went ahead of him, stopping at the door with a smirk on his face.

“What are you smirking at?” Monte grumbled, pushing the door open and gesturing for Tommy to go in first.

“Just how much of a slow coach you are. Must be the age thing finally getting to you,” he teased, dodging the swift hand that came his way. Laughing, he looked around the room to see who was there already, and found his eyes drawn to the corner where Adam was. With Aiden. His laughter stopped, along with his heart, and he was aware of Monte’s knowing look. He just hoped he wasn’t being too obvious as to what had stopped his cheerfulness.

He watched as Adam looked his way, Aiden still chattering to him manically. He put a hand on Aiden’s arm, talking to him gently before walking over to where Tommy and Monte were still standing.

“Hey guys. We’re going to be practicing some of the new songs that we haven’t really nailed yet. You wanna get sorted?” His eyes trailed over Tommy’s face, waiting for Monte to go over and get his guitar set up before talking.

“I’m sorry about Aiden coming. There wasn’t really much I could do about it.” He glanced quickly over to where Aiden was sitting to check that he wasn’t in hearing range.

“It’s fine. It’s not like we get to do anything here without the others seeing anyway,” he said nonchalantly. He didn’t say that they would miss out on their talks, because that would just seem selfish. They had rehearsals a lot; they could catch up on their talks easily later this week.

Adam smiled softly, a hand reaching up as if to brush Tommy’s cheek the way he always did when they were alone, but instead he rested a hand on Tommy’s shoulder, squeezing gently before turning away and walking back to Aiden.

Tommy tried not to look at Adam’s departing figure, looking how he looked when he walked away every time Aiden called him back home. He went over to his bass, made sure that everything was how it should be, and strummed a couple of chords while he was waiting for the rest of the band to arrive. He listened as Monte did the same thing, their music blending into one.

When the others arrived, everything turned from quiet and tranquil to loud and hectic. Adam made them all check that everything was right with their instruments before practicing, and they all chuckled companionably at his perfectionism. They knew how much he always strived to make everything work at its best, and it usually paid off well, so they didn’t complain.

Adam’s voice belted out, and everything felt right at that moment. That was what Adam’s voice did to him. It made him forget about all of the things that were bothering him and think of the good things instead. He tried to remember the chords that he had learnt a few weeks ago. Somehow he could remember his solo but had more difficulty with the rest of the song. He would have to work on that.

As Isaac beat out his own complicated drum solo, Tommy stepped a little closer to Adam to strum his own. He kept his eyes on the strings just in case he got something wrong, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he concentrated. When it was over, he saw Adam’s lingering gaze, knowing how it turned him on whenever he saw his face while playing. He had an orgasmic face, according to Adam. He wasn’t sure he really believed that, but it was sometimes fun to get him riled up on stage by putting on the ‘orgasmic’ face. It meant he was getting rougher sex than usual that night, but he didn’t mind that one bit.

They played for a couple of hours non-stop, Adam intent on making progress. It was Cam in the end who had to call out for a break, and when Adam told her that they would just practice for half an hour longer and then they could have a break, she put her foot down and told him that if she couldn’t have a break when she needed it, she wouldn’t be able to play keys her best. He grudgingly told them they could have a break, and the rest of the band silently thanked her for having the guts to confront Adam when he was in perfectionist mode.

Tommy kept his eyes glued to the ground as best he could as Adam made his way back over to Aiden, but he couldn’t help the way his heart twisted painfully in his chest. He heard Isaac sit down beside him, and threw what he hoped was a friendly smile his way before his eyes drifted to where Adam and Aiden were. He watched as Aiden leaned up for a kiss, a hand on Adam’s thigh.

 He felt like he was the one who was being cheated on at times. It hurt so badly to see Adam with someone else. Sometimes Tommy couldn’t help feeling like a toy that was only used when the cooler toy wasn’t there, and then when it was he was tossed away like he was nothing. He knew that Adam didn’t mean to make him feel that way, that he had to spend time with his boyfriend as well as him, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by Isaac, and he instantly felt bad about not talking, for going so silent.

“You alright, Tommy?” he asked in a concerned voice.

Tommy shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. They could wait until later, when he was alone. “I’m great. How’s Sophie?” He had lived with them for a while, but had moved out and into a house of his own when it was getting difficult to find places to go with Adam. Now that he had a house to himself, they could be together there without worrying about Isaac and Sophie getting suspicious. With Aiden it was fine; for some reason every line Adam fed him he took as the truth. Tommy felt sorry for him when he thought about what how they were deceiving him, but he didn’t feel quite so bad about it when he looked back over to him kissing the man he loved.

“She’s really good. Been a little more naggy than usual, but I can deal with it.” He bumped shoulders with Tommy, and he could remember all of the times she had nagged him about leaving clothes on the floor while he was there. He imagined that she was just taking it all out on Isaac instead of splitting it between the two of them.

“Bet you’re wishing I’m living with you again now that you’re getting all of the nagging.”

“Yeah, but that would have been the only positive to that situation,” Isaac chuckled, and Tommy pouted.

“I was good to live with! Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun doing yoga with me, I know you did! And all of our movie fests.” He crossed his arms over his chest, chin jerked up proudly.

“Oh, no, don’t remind me of the movie fests.” Isaac groaned.

“You told me you enjoyed them!”

“Well, I did sometimes...with the westerns but...I didn’t really like the horror movies.”

Tommy gasped in shock. All of those times they had watched a horror movie and Isaac had gushed about how good it had been. “Why did you lie?”

“I knew that you enjoyed them. But they are really pee-your-pants scary, Tommy!”

Tommy’s smirk appeared again. “Baby.”

“You’re the one who wears little boys’ underwear. If anyone’s the baby, it’s you,” he retorted.

“I can’t help having small hips and no ass!”

“Just like how I can’t help being scared of horror movies!”

Tommy couldn’t think of anything to say to that, so he just rested his head on Isaac’s shoulder. He knew that he didn’t mind; they always cuddled together. It was no secret that Tommy was a cuddle slut.

“We miss you, you know. I mean, I know that we still see you and you’re close to where we live, but it was weird the first few days after you had left and we woke up to no Tommy snoring till noon.”

“Miss you too. No snoring me must have been a real bummer,” he muttered.

“It really was.”

Just as Tommy was about to reply, Adam called that the break was over and they should get back to practicing the new songs. Isaac dropped his head down on Tommy’s briefly in mock exhaustion, and then went to get behind the drums. Tommy picked up his bass, trying to keep down the scowl that was begging to be let free when he heard Aiden tell Adam that he loved him.

The rest of the practice went smoothly, and by the end Adam seemed happy with the progress they had made. Before leaving, Adam came up to Tommy, asking him if he wanted to go out again the next day. Of course, Tommy agreed. He couldn’t say no to that hopeful smile.

“Did you get many of these songs done when you jammed with Adam yesterday, or did you just improvise?” Aiden’s voice sounded clearly through the sound of everyone getting ready to leave. Adam and Tommy exchanged a wide-eyed glance, and turned to where Aiden was standing with Monte.

Aiden didn’t see Monte that much, which was why Adam had thought it safe to use Monte as a cover ; if he said he was going to Tommy’s all of the time, Aiden was sure to get suspicious. Adam pleaded with Monte with his eyes, and after a couple of seconds hesitation, Monte replied that they had mostly improvised.

Adam and Tommy nearly breathed a sigh of relief, but when he was settled in Monte’s car some minutes later, Tommy felt a little disappointed that Monte had lied for them. If he hadn’t, and it had all came out in the open, maybe Adam wouldn’t have to leave Aiden. Maybe Aiden would leave him, and they could be together like they wanted. Sighing, he tried to forget the image of him and Adam in a house together, a real couple, knowing that it couldn’t come true. He had held onto that hope for a long time now, and he was reaching the point where he had given up hope.

He sat there for a long time before noticing Monte’s glare his way, and prepared himself for what was about to come. He mouthed the words silently as Monte shouted them.

“What the hell was that?!”

He knew that he needed to lie, that if he told him the truth it could ruin everything. But he couldn’t think of anything but the truth, feeble lies lingering in his mind before being discarded. He just shook his head, and cringed at Monte’s enraged expression.

“Don’t just shake your head at me! I had to lie for you out there!”

A thought came into his mind, and he couldn’t help but try. “Is it my fault that Adam lied to Aiden about going to yours? Why are you shouting at _me?_ ”

“Don’t give me that, Tommy. I could see it was something between you two by the look you gave each other. What is it that you’re hiding?” Monte demanded.

“Nothing!” Tommy wished he would just drop it, but Monte could be stubborn when he wanted to know something.

“It’s not nothing. I’ve had a theory for a while, but I was hoping I was wrong. Is it true?” His voice turned softer, and Tommy felt the sting of tears burn his eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, I’ll say it, then. Are you having an affair with Adam?” The words were so unexpected that the tears spilled over. Furiously wiping them away, he wondered again if they were too obvious about what they were doing.

Monte nodded slowly. “I think I’ve gotten my answer right there. How long has it been going on for?”

“Since the end of Glam Nation,” he whispered.

“Why, Tommy? Why do it?”

“We’re in love,” his voice trembled. He still couldn’t believe that he had let Monte get through to him this easily. Maybe it showed how weak he was.

“If you’re in love, then why isn’t Adam with you?” Monte asked.

The impact of the words hit him hard, and his body shook with sobs. It made him feel that Adam didn’t love him, that he couldn’t if he was still with Aiden. But he remembered why, even if it didn’t seem so important a reason here in Monte’s car. He told him anyway.

“Please don’t tell anyone. Please, Monte,” he begged. He watched Monte’s expression turn from one of disappointment, to a torn look. Closing his eyes, he nodded.

“I don’t see how I’m going to be able to do this. But I will. I love you and Adam. Just...if he really loves you, tell him to leave Aiden. It’s the only way you’re going to get out of this mess.”

“But what if he tells me he just wants to be with Aiden? What then? I don’t think I can live without him. Even if it is like this.” No matter how much faith he had in their love for each other, he couldn’t help the doubt that settled in his mind.

“If you trust that Adam loves you, then you’ll tell him,” Monte said simply, and then started the engine when Tommy didn’t reply. Even though he felt like he had betrayed Adam in a way, talking about it with Monte, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Someone knew, and they weren’t turning their back on him because of it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

  Tommy waited at the park for Adam, sitting on a bench and just watching the children playing nearby with a smile on his face. He had always liked children, and he got along with almost any child of his friends. Probably because he was on the same level as them, Monte had said.

He looked down when a mother cast a wary eye at him, knowing what it must look like for him to be sitting at the park on his own with no sign of a child with him. He didn’t really want to worry the other parents, so he stood and walked over to the entrance instead, grinning when he saw Adam practically running to meet him. He chuckled when he nearly fell into him, and he caught his arms to steady him.

“What’s the rush, Adam?” he asked, laughing again at how out of breath Adam was. He caught his breath before talking, a hand on the side of his chest.

“I wanted to get in as much time as I could with you,” Adam explained, reaching for Tommy’s hand before he remembered that they couldn’t be together in public. No matter where they were, there could always be paparazzi waiting to stir things up. Tommy smiled sadly, wishing that he could just hold his hand and show how proud he was to be there with him.

They started walking at a leisurely pace through the trees that covered the one side of the park. There were other couples walking down there, but Tommy was sure that they wouldn’t recognize Adam with his incognito clothes. He smiled, flicking the top of Adam’s cap lightly.

“You look so ridiculous in those clothes,” he said, eyeing Adam’s flowery shirt, which earned him an eye roll.

“Well, that _is_ the point. I don’t think that anybody would think that Adam Lambert would ever wear clothes like these.”

“You do know that most of the fans have seen pictures of you incognito, right? They could probably spot you a mile off. And it doesn’t help that you’re an ogre,” he pointed out, and bit his lip to stop his giggles when Adam gaped.

“I am not an ogre! Ogres are ugly and they aren’t even real! Just because you’re a pixie!”

“Hate to break it to you, but they aren’t real either,” he teased, patting Adam’s shoulder sympathetically.

Adam snorted. “You can be such a bitch sometimes.” He grumbled.

Tommy shrugged. “Eh, you still love me,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes up at Adam and pouting his lips. Adam just laughed and ruffled Tommy’s hair, making him squeak and dart away from him, smoothing his hair down with a glare.

“You know I hate when you do that.”

“Why do you think I do it?” Adam joked.

Tommy crossed his arms stubbornly, stopping so that Adam had to stop, too. He walked back over to him with a grin on his face. “You look so cute when you’re in a mood, you know? Like a little elf that hasn’t got his own way.”

“Now you’re calling me an elf?!”

“Aww, don’t be mad. Elves are cute.”

“No, they’re not. I’m not going to continue walking until I get an apology,” Tommy said, tapping his foot to show that he was waiting.

Adam sighed but pulled him behind a tree, checking quickly that no paps were there before sliding his lips over Tommy’s, both of his hands on either side of Tommy’s head. He smiled when Tommy tugged him closer, deepening the kiss until their mouths were reddened when they broke apart.

“Was that enough of an apology?” Adam whispered, his breath ghosting over Tommy’s neck.

Tommy shook his head. “Nope. I still didn’t get a verbal apology. You can’t just pin me to a tree and kiss me to get me to forgive you. It just doesn’t work that way,” he smirked.

“Okay, okay. I’m very sorry for calling you an elf.”

Tommy poked him in the chest. “And a pixie.”

“And a pixie. Will you ever forgive me, Tommy Joe Ratliff?” he asked dramatically.

Tommy pretended to think about it for a minute, before nodding his head and locking his arms around Adam’s neck to plant a kiss on his lips. “But you really shouldn’t have kissed me then. You didn’t know who could have been watching.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Says the one whose got their arms around my neck like you’re about to kiss me again.”

Tommy smiled and let his hands fall to his sides, pushing Adam’s own hands down from where they were still resting on the tree. “But really, you should be more careful sometimes.”

“I know. But sometimes I just can’t resist your beauty and I lose control,” Adam said softly.

“Stop being sappy. It doesn’t suit you,” he replied, walking back out into the open. He heard Adam’s footsteps behind him, and he caught up in no time.

“Bigfoot.” Tommy muttered, and Adam just smiled at his remark.

“I _am_ romantic. More romantic than you’ll ever be, anyway.”

“I can do romantic. I just choose not to,” Tommy said, watching Adam’s eyes widen in disbelief. “No, honestly, I can do romantic. Maybe one day I’ll mix a CD for you to prove it.”

“I’d love to see that. All that would be on it would be rock, though, wouldn’t it?”

“Hey, rock can be romantic! You just have to listen carefully to the lyrics,” Tommy told him.

“Yeah, right. All that’s in rock music is drugs and sex and depression,” Adam said to himself.

“No, it isn’t! There’s more to rock than that. If you just gave it a chance, you’d love it.”

“I doubt it. Tell you what, we’ll swap iPods some time. That way, I’ll get to show you what real music is like,” Adam suggested.

“Deal. I’ll have you head banging to Metallica in no time,” Tommy said happily. Adam shook his head and looped his arms around Tommy’s shoulders, knowing that this was one of the only forms of intimacy he could show in public.

They walked in silence for some moments, gazing at each other the whole time. It was soothing, just to walk through the park together like all of the other couples there. It felt normal, which was what Tommy craved in his relationship with Adam.

He listened to the crunch of the leaves under their feet and until Adam spoke up.

“Maybe you’re right about being more careful. Monte nearly screwed it for us yesterday.”

Tommy bit his lip, knowing that he would have to tell Adam that Monte knew. He wondered if he would be angry or upset, but he had to tell Adam something. He knew Monte too well to think that he would have dropped that he had to lie for him. He took a deep breath, and knew from the look that Adam shot at him that he knew something was up.

“What?” Adam finally asked.

Tommy met Adam’s eyes. “He knows. Monte knows.” He kept his eyes on Adam for his reaction, but there wasn’t much of one. He just frowned.

“How does he know?” he asked.

“Well, he asked me about it. I mean, he said he saw the look we gave each other before he lied, and I tried to tell him it was nothing, but you know how stubborn he can be. He said that he already had had a theory for a while.”

Adam sighed. “Monte probably knows me better than anyone, except for you, of course. I should have known that I wouldn’t be able to keep secrets from him.”

Tommy looked down at their feet, and nudged Adam’s foot playfully. “Are you mad?”

Adam lifted his chin up so he would look at him. “No, I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you, Tommy. You’re way too adorable to stay mad at for any length of time.”

“So, that means that I can get away with things with my adorableness?” Tommy asked, flipping his hair back in exaggeration.

“You already do!” Adam cried and Tommy just laughed.

They fell into silence again, enjoying the sun that was warming their faces. When he heard Adam tut, he turned to him in confusion. Adam pointed to his finger nails, and he looked down to see his chipped nail polish. Adam held up his hand next to his, and Tommy rolled his eyes at his perfectly painted black nails.

“You really shouldn’t bite your nails so much,” Adam said.

“It’s a habit,” Tommy said.

“Exactly. That’s why you should stop it.”

“So you should stop the habit of getting hard onstage?” Tommy cocked his head to the side.

“That isn’t a habit. It’s...well, I don’t know what it is, but _you_ certainly never complain.”

Tommy chuckled. “I’d have to be insane if I complained about seeing _that_ every night. I think it was the best part of the show,” he said thoughtfully.

“So, my singing was just irrelevant in the show?” Adam asked with a grin.

“Hmmm...it came third. The hard-on came first, then the pelvic thrusts, _then_ the singing _._ ” Tommy said.

“So, I could have just stood there and did thrusts and no one would complain?”

“Yeah,” Tommy said simply.

“You really liked my thrusts, then?” Adam asked curiously. Tommy gave him a look that screamed ‘you-only-just-noticed?’

“Of course I did. Especially when you dry humped me from behind. That was some hot stuff, seriously. I was just glad that I had something in front of me to hide anything I didn’t want being seen.”

“Yeah, think about me, practically with a spotlight trained on it for everyone to see!” Adam exclaimed.

 “I think we should head out of here soon. The parents don’t like me,” Tommy said.

“Why?” Adam asked.

Tommy waved a hand. “Oh, you know, man without a kid sitting on a bench in a park with lots of little kids around is bound to raise suspicion. Why did we have to go to a park again?”

Adam looked around, smiling. “It’s pretty here. You know how much of a sucker I am for pretty things,” he said, eyeing Tommy pointedly.

Tommy pouted. “Can we go? I feel like they’re going to come and shout at me or something.”

Adam pulled Tommy in close to his side. “Aww, baby, of course we can go someplace else. Come on.” He guided Tommy to the entrance, laughing quietly when all of the mothers seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at their exit.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“We’re going to Italy!”

Adam looked up from the magazine that he was reading, frowning at the brochures in Aiden’s hands. “What?”

Aiden just shook his head, still grinning like a maniac. “We’re going to Italy!” He repeated. Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Since when?” He asked.

“Since yesterday. I booked us a hotel and everything. We leave on Saturday, and we’re there for a week.”

Adam blinked. “It’s Thursday. You can’t just plan a vacation that quick!”

Aiden shrugged, sipping his coffee. “Well, I did.”

“But you can’t! I had rehearsals planned! You can’t just plan something like this without telling me!” he cried.

Aiden sighed and put a hand on Adam’s shoulder to calm him down. Adam just glared at him wordlessly.

“Look, you need something to take your mind off things a little. Come on, how long has it been since you went away?” he asked.

“A while,” Adam admitted.

“See? You need to give yourself a break sometimes. You can’t always be rehearsing and working. You need some time off. You deserve it, Adam. Besides, I haven’t had a chance to go away for a while, either. You know how I can’t be away from you for a long time. I need you with me, Adam.”

Adam winced mentally, knowing that a lot of the times he said he was rehearsing, he was with Tommy. He felt horrible for depriving Aiden of a vacation, knowing that he would be lost in a foreign country without Adam by his side. He could only imagine the sorts of things Aiden would get into without Adam there to guide him and encourage him to speak his mind.

“But I need these rehearsals!” he said again, but the look in Aiden’s eyes let him know that he wasn’t going to back down.

“Adam, you don’t have an appearance for ages, you know that. And I think you’ve nailed those songs, anyway. Please? I’ve never been to Italy before, and I want to experience it with you. You know how much I need you.”

The way Aiden kept repeating that made Adam want to hold him tight and promise him that he would always be there for him.

Aiden was so vulnerable at times, and it was like hearing a puppy cry in pain when it was so clear. “I just wished you’d let me know before you booked it,” he said.

Aiden rested his head on Adam’s shoulder, and Adam closed his eyes as he imagined it was Tommy there beside him instead. Tommy and his sweet laugh and flirty smile. When Aiden spoke, however, it ruined it, and Adam wished that he could just stay in reality at times like this. He should be here for Aiden, not thinking about Tommy all of the time.  “Sorry. I guess I should have checked with you first. But I was really excited to go. I can cancel it if you want me to, Adam. I don’t mind.”

 Adam opened his eyes and saw Aiden’s disappointed smile, instantly feeling bad about being so negative about the vacation. It wasn’t Aiden’s fault that Adam had been looking forward to spending some time with Tommy this week, and now he couldn’t. It might be nice to get away for a bit, he supposed. He would just rather it be with the one he was _in_ love with rather than someone he loved.

He faked a smile, draping an arm over Aiden’s shoulders so he could cuddle in close. He pressed a kiss to his temple, something that he did with lots of his friends to show his affection for them. He just wished Aiden was one of them friends instead of his boyfriend. It would make everything so much easier. “We’ll go, baby. And we’ll have fun.”

Aiden’s smile changed drastically, turning up a few watts. He smacked a kiss to Adam’s lips. “Thank you! We should start packing!”

Adam watched as Aiden bounced out of the room.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy smiled brightly when he opened the door to Adam, dragging him in so he could kiss him on the lips.

“Hey. I wasn’t expecting you today,” he said, gazing up into Adam’s deep blue eyes.

Adam tucked some of Tommy’s hair behind his ear, biting his lip. “I have to tell you something.” His voice was bleak, and Tommy’s mind jumped to all sorts of conclusions.

“What?” he asked, holding his breath. He wondered if he should sit down, but Adam was strong enough to hold him up if his legs gave in.

“Aiden booked us a holiday to Italy. It’s for a week, and we’re going Saturday.”

Tommy waited for more, but when that was it, he hit Adam’s chest. “You idiot! Why did you have to sound so depressed like someone had died?!”

Adam looked surprised. “Well, I thought you’d be sad.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad, Adam. Besides, it’s only for a week. We’ve went longer without seeing each other,” he pointed out—though it had been when they were only doing this for the sex. Neither of them acknowledged that, though.

Adam let Tommy lead him to the sofa and sit him down, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer. “I thought we could swap iPods now. I mean, anytime I miss you, I can just listen to your music. Even if it is garbage” he teased, holding up the bright pink iPod he had brought with him. Tommy shook his head at him.

“So sappy, Adam. But, yeah, let me get mine,” he said, getting up and heading into his bedroom, coming out seconds later with a black one almost identical to Adam’s.

“Should have known yours would be black. You’re a little goth at heart, aren’t you?” Adam bumped his shoulder against Tommy’s playfully, taking Tommy’s iPod and giving him his.

“Just because I like the colour black does not mean I’m goth, Adam! And look how much black you wear,” he remarked, pointing at Adam’s black outfit.

“Okay, okay. But at least my accessories are more colourful.”

Tommy just rolled his eyes. “Make any excuse you want, Adam. You love black just as much as I do. Anyway, have you packed for your vacation yet?”

Adam bit his lip. “I haven’t actually, and Aiden will go nuts if I don’t do it by tonight. I guess I should get going.”

Tommy laughed. “Well, have fun,” he said, getting up to open the door for Adam.

“I’ll try. I mean, I love Aiden, but...it would be so much better if it was you I was going with,” Adam confessed, looking at Tommy longingly.

“Maybe, one day we can go somewhere together,” Tommy replied half-heartedly, knowing full well that that wasn’t ever going to be able to happen. But it was nice to think that they could one day, if only for the sadness to leave Adam’s eyes.

Adam smiled. “Yeah, we should. I’ll have to sort something out for us.”

Tommy just nodded, knowing that it was going to be yet another promise from Adam that would be broken. He wished sometimes that Adam wouldn’t say these things. It only hurt him more in the end.

“I’ll miss you,” Tommy said, standing on his tiptoes to give Adam a soft kiss. He felt Adam’s arms wrap around his waist to support him as he curled his arms around his neck. He would give anything to just stay like that, wrapped in Adam’s embrace like he was meant to be there. He reluctantly let go after a couple of seconds, waving Adam off as he walked away with one last ‘goodbye.’

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Adam clicked onto Airplane Mode on his phone, smiling over at Aiden when he saw him do the same. He checked Twitter, scrolling through his feed before he saw a familiar face pop up. He clicked on Tommy’s page, seeing that he was having a Twitter party.

Deciding to lurk for a while and see some of the fans questions (which were always fun to read), he waited until he saw a question come up. It read: ‘are you going out with anyone at the moment?’ He frowned while he waited for Tommy’s answer, and wondered if he was going to ignore it when he didn’t say anything for ten minutes. He was surprised, then, when he saw the reply: ‘No, not at the moment.’

His heart hurt a little at the answer, but he reminded himself that he couldn’t say yes, because then everybody would be asking who it was and why they hadn’t seen pictures of him with anybody new. He still liked to think that Tommy’s honest answer would have been yes, though. After all, they _were_ together in a way. He turned his phone off abruptly, no longer feeling like stalking Tommy on Twitter…

  
 ~~~~~~~~~~

Monte came round the next day, hearing that Adam had went to Italy with Aiden. While he was making them drinks, Monte walked in the kitchen, and Tommy knew what he was going to ask.

“Have you asked him yet?”

“Asked who what?” Tommy asked innocently.

Monte sighed. “You know what. Have you asked Adam to choose who he wants to be with?”

Tommy turned around to face Monte, leaning against the counter. “No. I just can’t, Monte.”

“I don’t see why not. All you’re doing by letting this go on is hurting yourself, Adam and Aiden. And it’s gone on way too long now,” Monte declared.

Tommy gathered their drinks, carrying them into the living room and setting them down on the table. He plopped into a seat, looking up at Monte, who was standing over him. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” Monte crossed his arms, indicating that he was willing to wait if necessary.

“Okay. It’s like...I want to tell him whenever he’s gone that he needs to choose, but whenever he’s with me I just can’t. He makes me forget, and he takes the pain away. I never want to ruin the moment that we’re having by saying something like that.”

“Tommy...” Monte grumbled, but Tommy put a hand up to stop him.

“No, Monte, just let me speak, okay? When I’m with him, he makes me feel like I’m special, like I’m the most important thing in the world to him. I don’t want to lose that. Ever.”

He felt the chair dip when Monte sat next to him. “You know it’s the right thing to do, though. You can’t keep on hanging onto him like this, and then just letting him go back home to Aiden when he’s done with you. I know Adam doesn’t really see it like that, but it’s hurting you, Tommy, I know it is. The longer it goes on, the more it’s going to hurt Aiden, too. Can you even imagine what he would feel like if he knew? Have you even thought about him in all of this?” Monte asked.

Tommy knew that he was making sense. Whenever it came to Adam, he never made sense, though. It was like Adam would make everything better with one single look, until he went again, and he would feel all of the hurt come crashing back. He made him forget about Aiden, too, and he had never given much thought about what they were doing behind his back. He thought about it now, though, and he could only imagine the hurt that would be so much worse than his own. He felt wretched inside, and he thought back on how selfish he was being.

“I didn’t want to hurt anybody. It wasn’t meant to. It makes me feel so bad inside knowing what we’re causing. I want to stop what we’re doing and do this for real. But I can’t find the right time to tell him,” Tommy murmured.

“The truth is there will never be a right time. I understand that you don’t want to say anything to him when you’re having a perfect day with him and you don’t want it to end badly. But if he doesn’t already, he needs to know how you feel. He needs to know that what you’re doing is wrong, and if he loves you, then you’re the one he has to choose.”

Tommy rubbed a hand over his forehead, a headache already coming on from how much Monte had made him think. “Can we talk about something else for a while? Talking about Adam’s just gonna make me start missing him and he’s only been gone a day,” Tommy complained, and Monte chuckled but obliged, which Tommy was glad for.

~~~~~~~~~~

The hotel was beautiful, with a huge bed that was all kinds of comfy and soft lighting that made the whole room glow like it was magical. Adam had spent the last night sleeping after the airplane ride, amazed at how energetic Aiden still was. He begged off going looking around the town, promising to go the next day.

Trailing around the town with Aiden, he was fascinated by all of the shops, which Aiden rolled his eyes at and told him to look at the landmarks instead. Adam couldn’t help that he didn’t find them quite as interesting.

He tried to speak to the people there with the little Italian he knew, and blushed when they spoke back to him in English. He grumbled when Aiden laughed at him, but when he got into one of the restaurants, he forgot all about his embarrassment. The food was delicious, and though he felt a little bad about all of the calories he was consuming, he tried to forget about his weight so he could have fun.

And he did have fun. Aiden was always fun to be with, and though he wasn’t Tommy, he still enjoyed spending time around Italy with him. He thought that maybe Aiden was right after all, he _had_ needed to get away for a while. It was relaxing and peaceful, but every now and then he wondered what Tommy was doing where he was.

~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy smiled to himself when he put on Adam’s iPod and listened to it. Everything on it was so...Adam. He flicked through all of the Ke$ha, Britney and Gaga, trying to find something that he could actually listen to that he would enjoy. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much, and there were way too many songs on there to go through to find something decent, so he pressed play on a random song, groaning at the sound that filled his ears.

He made himself listen to most of the songs on there, just to prove that Adam could never get him to dance around singing into a hairbrush. There was another reason, though. Listening to Adam’s music made it feel like he was close, and Tommy had to admit that he had already started missing him even though he’d only been gone two days. It made him realise how much he looked forward to seeing him each week, to see that heart-stopping smile and hear that charming voice that could melt him into a sappy mess in two seconds flat. He hoped that the week would go quickly, because he knew that Adam wouldn’t be able to call him much while he was on vacation. Aiden would want to make sure he relaxed.

And he couldn’t call him much either; Adam was more likely to leave his phone around while he was away and it could look bad if Aiden saw that Tommy was calling all of the time.

But he guessed it was okay, not hearing his voice for awhile. He had his music, and in a way, that comforted him, because his voice was in that also. So he didn’t skip the track when Jessie J came on, but he definitely wasn’t going to tell Adam that.

~~~~~~~~~~

Adam was exhausted when he got back from trailing around Italy, and while Aiden was in the bath, he turned on Tommy’s iPod, putting it on shuffle and hoping that Tommy had _some_ good songs, at least. He cringed as pure noise filled his ears, and he turned down the volume so that he could actually hear himself think. He didn’t know why Tommy liked so much noise in his music. It just hurt Adam’s ears, and come on, that was shouting, not singing. But he endured it anyway, and even found that some of the songs were pretty good.

He giggled quietly to himself when he thought of how Tommy would boast, the ‘I told you so’ would no doubt come off his lips. He turned it off when Aiden came back out, but the warm happy feeling in his heart couldn’t be switched off with the press of a button.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy was invited around for dinner at Isaac’s the next day, and he was grateful for the excuse to get out of the house. If he didn’t, he would most likely be curled up with Adam’s music in his ears, which wouldn’t help at all.

He changed into his skinny jeans and a shirt with a glittery skull on it (it seemed that Adam had also influenced his style of clothing), and lined his eyes with eyeliner, swiping a little gloss on his lips before heading out of the door.

He didn’t know why he had made himself up just to go to a friend’s house. He guessed that it was because when he looked good, he felt good, and lately he hadn’t been feeling so good in himself. He hadn’t realized that Adam had had such an effect on his life, and he found it a little scary that just because he hadn’t seen Adam in a few days, he was feeling down.

His conversation with Monte was still ringing in his head, and he was happy that he would be able to just forget about all of that tonight, and spend some well needed time with his friends. He hadn’t seen Sophie in ages, and he was looking forward to catching up with them and having an Adam-free night.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam heard Aiden coming before he saw him, and nodded in a vague attempt to acknowledge that he was there. When he came into his line of sight, he saw him frown and kneel down so that he was eye level with him from where he was lying face down on the bed.

“What’s the matter? You’re supposed to be enjoying this holiday, not moping,” he said.

Adam chewed on his lip, fully aware of how bad it looked that he was miserable while on vacation. He had had fun and had seen some of the most amazing things here, but being away from Tommy was finally getting to him. It kind of felt like a piece of his heart was missing, and he couldn’t believe how cheesy he sounded, but it was the truth. He couldn’t really explain that to Aiden though, so he lied.

“I’m just tired, I guess.” He hated lying to people, always had, but he had lied so often to people nowadays that he was starting to feel like he could be a professional liar, if there was one. The thought made him feel terrible.

A smirk appeared on Aiden’s face, and Adam stared at him, suspicious as to what he was thinking. “I know what could cheer you up,” he said slowly, his hand creeping up to rub up and down Adam’s side.

Adam froze for a second, then forced himself to relax. He knew exactly what Aiden was talking about. “Didn’t I just say I was tired? It would wear me out, baby.”

Aiden shook his head, a smile still on his lips. “No, it would probably make you feel more awake, with all of the endorphins.”

Adam didn’t know whether that was true or whether Aiden was just trying to persuade him, but he knew that he would have to give in. After all, they hadn’t done it in months, and he couldn’t put it off forever. With Tommy it felt right, and more like a relationship than anything he would have with Aiden.

Still, he pulled Aiden onto the bed with him, whispering a ‘sorry’ in his mind to Tommy.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy sat down at the dining room table in Isaac and Sophie’s house, feeling at ease for the first time since Adam left. He watched wordlessly as Sophie set out the food, frowning as he remembered how he had offered to help and she had told him no in a cold voice. It wasn’t like her at all. She always put others feelings before her own, even when she was having a bad day and needed to vent out.

He and Isaac talked while they ate, and Tommy tried to get Sophie involved in the conversation, but she didn’t seem to want to join in. He looked at Isaac questioningly, who shook his head to indicate that he didn’t want to talk about it. Tommy was confused, though. Most of the time, you couldn’t shut Sophie up, and now she was sitting in a stony silence.

When they had cleared their plates, she got up and started picking them up, and Tommy heard the bang of dishes from the kitchen that was unnecessarily loud. He stood and went in after her, seeing her hunched up over the sink.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

She turned around and smiled faintly at him. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I haven’t really talked to you since you got here,” she looked tired, and Tommy stepped closer to her and pulled her against his side.

“It’s fine. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I can tell it’s private. Just remember, if you ever need to talk to me, I’m here, okay? I’m not just Isaac’s friend,” he said.

Sophie looked up into his eyes. “Thank you. You know, there’s now been a lot of times that I’ve witnessed you act like an adult. It’s strange,” she said.

Tommy smiled, squeezing her once before letting her go. “What can I say? I’m unpredictable.”

“That you are. You should go back to Isaac while I finish up in here,” she said, still chuckling. Tommy was glad to see that he’d apparently brightened her mood, even if it was only for a few moments.

He nodded and walked back into the living room, finding Isaac curled up on the couch with a pillow tucked to his chest. Tommy sat down next to him, hesitating before placing a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. He could feel the tension there as easily as he could see it in his face, and he waited until he relaxed under his touch before speaking.

“You should talk to her. That’s the only way you can sort out...whatever it is you have to sort out.”

Isaac raised his head, chewing on his lip nervously. “I shouldn’t have invited you round. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I just wanted a friendly face to distract me from what’s going on, I guess.”

“Don’t worry about it. But I’m not gonna get dragged into this, Isaac. You two need to sort this out between yourselves. I’ll be here for you when you need me, you know that. But you can’t just procrastinate until there’s nothing left to sort out,” Tommy said gently, his voice getting stronger towards the end.

Isaac and Sophie were like the perfect couple to him. Sure, they argued and bickered sometimes, but that was normal and it was never over anything serious. He looked up to them, and had even told himself that one day he would have that with someone. They fit together so well, and it pained Tommy to think that things could be taking a turn for the worse. If Isaac and Sophie couldn’t stay together, then how would the rest of them be able to maintain a relationship?

“Whoever knew Thomas Joe Ratliff could give relationship advice,” Isaac laughed, and Tommy frowned at him.

“I was trying to be serious and caring, but if you’re just going to laugh at me, I’ll take it back. Please don’t say my full name again, either, you know how I hate it,” Tommy complained.

“Sorry. You know how much it means to me—” Isaac stopped suddenly, and Tommy looked over his shoulder to see what had caused it.

He saw Sophie, standing awkwardly by the door as if she didn’t belong there. Tommy stood, knowing that it was his cue to leave. It seemed they had a lot to discuss, and lingering would only make matters worse. He ruffled Sophie’s hair as he passed, and was happy to hear her giggle in response. Just as he got to the front door, he called over his shoulder to Isaac, “See ya, drummer boy!”

Before he closed the door, he heard the two of them laughing simultaneously and hoped that he had lightened the mood enough to get them talking easily. He shook his head as he headed to his car. Having a full time job as a relationship advisor must be _hard._

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam laughed as Aiden tried to drag him to the beach.

“Come on. It’s warm and we can just relax. We’ve been doing so much on this vacation that I think we should take it easy at least for one day here,” Aiden persuaded.

“Okay, okay. Give me a minute.” Adam said, watching in amusement as Aiden jumped up to get their drinks. He could be so enthusiastic sometimes. It always brightened Adam’s mood to be around someone like that.

He changed into beach clothes, wincing when he thought of how many more freckles would appear once they were out in the sun. Their hotel was right beside a beach, but they had only viewed it from their balcony so far. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually been to a beach. Everything was so hectic in his life that it seemed like he didn’t get much of a break most of the time.

This vacation was probably one of the most relaxing times he’s had in ages, with no work to do or expectations. There were some paparazzi that had snapped them a couple of times, but they were the polite ones, which Adam was grateful for. He didn’t think he could deal with the ones who shouted stuff at him just to get his attention.

“Are you ready? I’ve got our drinks!” Aiden called, rounding the corner with two Coronas in his hands.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” he said, reaching out for his drink and taking a sip before taking Aiden’s hand and walking out to the beach. He frowned when Aiden stopped, looking back over his shoulder curiously.

“What is it?” Adam asked.

Aiden’s eyes glazed over slightly, like he wasn’t seeing Adam, his eyes fixed on something behind him. Then, he blinked, and shook his head.

“It’s nothing. Come on, let’s go.”

His voice was falsely cheery, and Adam wondered what on earth Aiden had seen. But there was nothing strange when he looked back himself, so he accepted Aiden’s answer and followed him through the door.

He missed the iPod sitting on the coffee table, exactly where Aiden had been looking.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Halfway though their vacation, Adam had had to stay at the hotel to wait for a call from his management telling him the dates of the next shows. Aiden had went out on his own to meet up with his friends who had coincidently been on vacation to Italy at the same time (Adam was sure that this was the real reason Aiden wanted to go, but he didn’t call him up on it). Adam had insisted on driving him to their meeting place, not comfortable with Aiden wandering unfamiliar streets on his own.

It was a couple of hours later that Adam received a call from Aiden, telling him that he was going to sleep over at the place his friends were stopping at since it was getting late. It was strange to Adam at the time, especially considering that Aiden always insisted that he couldn’t sleep without Adam by his side. But after a while, he thought about how this was a huge step for him, and it finally seemed that Aiden was trying to help himself instead of letting Adam do all of the work.

It could only be a change for the better.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

   
The week had passed fairly quickly, and soon Adam was home and knocking on Tommy’s door. He grinned when he saw Tommy’s face and squeaked when he was unexpectedly dragged in by his shirt. He saw Tommy tiptoe to reach his mouth, and curled an arm around his waist to help him balance. Tommy’s lips brushed against his, a tongue flicking out to trace his upper lip.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Tommy breathed, their faces inches apart.

“I’ve missed you, too. I mean, it was fun, but I’d have loved to have done it with you.”

Tommy waggled his eyebrows jokingly. “Done it with me, huh?”

“Not like that! You have such a dirty mind!”

Tommy shrugged. “You bring it out in me. So,” he pulled Adam over to the couch and sat him down, “did you listen to my IPod at all, or were you too busy enjoying yourself?”

“I did. I liked some of them. I was happy to see my version of ‘Enter Sandman’ on there,” he replied, smirking.

“You did it good. You have ‘Fever’ on yours. I didn’t think singers had their own songs on their iPod.”

“Well, I’m an exception. I noticed you had a lot of Madonna on there as well. I thought it was just a joke when you said that you slept with her picture under your pillow, but it really wasn’t, was it?”

“Whatever,” Tommy muttered, ducking his head.

Adam cocked his head to the side, grinning. “You had a lot of 30 Seconds to Mars on there, too. So...you have a crush on Jared Leto?” He teased, eyes widening in shock as Tommy murmured a: “Just because I have their songs doesn’t mean I like him,” in a too-defensive tone.

“I was only joking! You really do like him, don’t you?”

He watched in amusement as a light blush spread across Tommy’s cheeks. “He’s got really nice cheekbones, okay?”

Adam pouted playfully. “You don’t like him more than me though, do you?”

Tommy rolled his eyes but took Adam’s face in his hands, caressing his cheeks softly. “Of course not. You’re my number one man. You’ll always be the most beautiful person on earth to me,” his voice dropped to a whisper.

Tommy leaned in to peck Adam on the lips, and smiled into the kiss when Adam pulled him closer and deepened it. It started out slow, with Adam’s tongue splitting the seam of Tommy’s mouth until he was given access. Tommy moaned into it when Adam pushed him down onto the couch, the kiss turning frantic and needy. He clutched Adam’s biceps as he kissed his way down his neck, pausing briefly to suck on his pulse point, causing Tommy to shiver in anticipation. He hadn’t had ‘I missed you’ sex yet, but he knew that he was going to enjoy it. Hell, he enjoyed everything Adam did to him.

He whined when Adam’s mouth left his skin and didn’t return. He reached for him, trying to pull him back down on top of him, but Adam was stronger than him and resisted.

“What is it, Adam?” He asked, starting to sit up, but Adam pushed him down with a hand to his chest.

“Lie back down. I just want to look at you for a minute,” he answered huskily, and Tommy did as he was told, gazing back up at Adam.

He watched as his eyes took in his messy hair, his kiss swollen lips and his lust glazed eyes. After a while, a smile spread across his face, and he let Tommy pull him back down.

“You are so beautiful,” Adam breathed, his finger trailing gently over the contours of Tommy’s face. Tommy nipped at his finger when it reached his lips.

“I could say the exact same thing about you.”

“I haven’t properly made love to you in a while, have I?” Adam asked, his brow furrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve only had quick fucks recently. I want to make love to you again, slowly. I want to take my time with you.”

Tommy bit his lip. Adam was right. They rarely got to go slowly, the way they would like to do it. “Have you got enough time?”

Adam nodded. “I have.”

Without another word, he slid his fingers under Tommy’s shirt, finding his nipples and pinching them to hear Tommy whimper. He arched his back up for more, and caught the devilish smirk Adam was wearing before he pulled the shirt off completely, running his hands over Tommy’s newly exposed skin. He blew cold air over Tommy’s torso, watching him shiver and clutch the edge of the couch to keep his hands from wandering of their own accord. He knew that Adam wanted to go slowly, and if he started touching Adam he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to take his time. Adam was much better at self control than he was.

He let himself bask in the feel of Adam’s tongue on him, his hands, his teeth. Every swipe of his tongue that wet his skin, every flutter of fingers that danced across his hipbone and every sharp nip of teeth against his sensitive spots was enough to make his heart gallop in his chest.

He felt Adam tug at his jeans and he lifted up to help him get them off. The boxers were next, and Tommy sighed as his aching dick was released from where it had been confined. Adam’s smirk grew as he took Tommy in his hand, not stroking, just holding. Tommy felt the urge to buck up into his fist, to feel the slide of Adam’s hand against his hot flesh. But he knew that Adam wouldn’t be happy if he came already, so he held back.

“This all for me?” Adam asked, his tongue poking out to lick freckled lips. Tommy stared dazedly at the slide of his tongue for a moment, before remembering that Adam was waiting for an answer. He wanted the touching to continue, so he figured he should reply.

“Of course it is,” he managed to get out between gasps of air.

Adam didn’t answer, just looked Tommy straight in the eye as he took his shirt off, biting his lip gently when he slid his jeans off to reveal he was wearing nothing underneath. Tommy muffled a giggle with the palm of his hand at Adam’s deliberately sexy look, but he knew that Adam had seen the twitch of his dick.

Still looking him in the eyes, he bent down closer to his dick, reaching out and smearing precome around the head as Tommy wrapped his legs around him to pull him in closer.

“Come on, Adam! Please, no more teasing,” he whined, knuckles turning white from clutching the couch material so tightly. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire and he knew that only Adam could cool it down.

Adam pushed his hair back from his face, ducking down to give him a bruising kiss. When he pulled away, Tommy spoke again.

“Please? I know you said you wanted to take your time, but I don’t think I can last any longer. You are way too talented at this,” he said, breathing harsh and face flushed.

Adam chuckled quietly, reaching behind to grab for the condoms and lube in his jeans pocket that he’d brought with him. He kept a hand on Tommy’s cock while he slicked his fingers up with the lube, his touch keeping Tommy interested. Not that he wouldn’t be interested if he didn’t keep his hands on him. Just looking at him was enough. Especially how he was now, eyes dark and hungry with bare freckled skin. He doubted that anyone would be able to resist this image.

Tommy gasped when he felt a finger circle his hole slowly, not expecting it to come so soon. He breathed in deeply so he could relax himself, and felt the finger slip in easily. He watched Adam as he prepared him, wishing that he could take care of him the way Adam was doing now. It was always the other way round. Adam would make sure Tommy was ready, care for him like he was the most precious thing on earth and then make love to him like he meant it. Tommy hadn’t ever done that for Adam and he wished that, just once, he would be able to feel how Adam felt from the inside, have him under him while he kissed every moan away.

His eyes had slipped closed, groaning when Adam hit that special spot inside of him like he had Tommy’s body mapped out. It made Tommy think of how he would like to map Adam’s body out someday, just spend hours tracing over every dimple until he knew every single sensitive spot on Adam’s body.

Tommy whined when Adam slid his fingers out, the movement causing him to feel empty and wide open. He reached down for his dick, sighing when it lessened the ache slightly. He stroked it slowly while he waited for Adam to come back to him, and gasped when hands suddenly gripped his wrists, holding them tightly above his head.

“No touching,” he heard Adam growl in his ear, as he nipped lightly at his earlobe before moving, shifting so that one hand kept both of his hands up. Tommy hadn’t heard the snick of the condom packet being opened, but Adam must have done it without him noticing, because next thing he knew the head of Adam’s cock nudged against his hole. Still relaxed from Adam’s fingers, he entered easily, the ache that accompanied the intrusion not the bad kind of painful at all.

Adam pressed open mouthed kisses all over his body as he sank deeper into him, stopping when his thighs touched Tommy’s ass. Tommy wished he could rake his nails down Adam’s back, mark him as his own. But he couldn’t, so he settled for digging his heels harder into his back, relishing the hard press of Adam’s body against his.

Adam’s eyes met his, dark with lust, and Tommy nodded, a signal that he could move. Slowly, Adam started moving his hips, pulling nearly all of the way out before slamming back into Tommy. A guttural moan spilled from his lips as he pulled Tommy’s head back by his hair, stealing a kiss from him before burrowing into the crook of his neck, breathing heavily against sweat slick skin.

Tommy rocked his hips back against Adam’s, mouth open as pleasure spiked through him and Adam hit at his prostate with every thrust in. Tommy moved his lips to Adam’s neck, sucking softly on the flesh there. He’d perfected how to suck on his skin without marking him up by now. The trick was to use his lips more than his teeth and to not get carried away with it, which was hard considering he was being fucked into oblivion.

His fingers threaded through Adam’s hair as Adam swivelled his hips faster, skin smacking against each other, the sound so dirty and sinful that his fingers in Adam’s hair clenched tight, pulling on it the way he knew stung. It didn’t matter to Adam, though. They were the same in that aspect; whenever they were having sex most pain made the pleasure spike further, blood rushing south until they couldn’t take it any longer.

Tommy knew that he was close and, by the way Adam’s rhythm had broken into uncoordinated thrusts, he was near, too. Tommy traced the curve of Adam’s back with one finger, legs still locked tightly around his waist, like a jigsaw, pieces that fit together easily.

Adam stroked a hand down Tommy’s chest, going lower and lower until he came at Tommy’s dick. He wrapped a hand around the erection, pumping as Tommy fucked himself into his fist. Every time his hips came down, his prostate was hit by Adam’s dick inside him and every time his hips came up, Adam’s hand slid over his hard cock smoothly. He knew he wouldn’t be able to last any longer and, as he came, he peppered kisses over the parts of Adam’s body that he could reach from where he was. His hand still resting on Adam’s back, he felt him shudder before hearing him groan deep in his chest.

Tommy closed his eyes, sated and happy as he heard Adam get up and clean them both off. Before he could put back the cloth or whatever it was that he had wiped them down with, Tommy tugged on his arm, causing him to tumble back onto the couch. He only just appreciated now his idea to get a big ass couch. If he’d had one of the small ones, they’d have surely fallen off by now.

Adam laughed and pulled Tommy into his chest, keeping quiet while their breathing slowed down. Then, he turned to Tommy with amusement in his eyes. Tommy was amazed at how quickly Adam could go from hungry with lust to laughing with amusement. He guessed it was just one of the many things he loved about him.

“So, that was our first ‘I missed you sex’, huh?” Adam asked, running a hand through his messy hair. Tommy wished he could snap a picture of him like this, eyes bright and chest shining with sweat. But his phone was in the kitchen, and there was no way he was going to get up for it now. 

Tommy pouted, considering for a moment before nodding. “I guess it was. You should go away more often,” he joked, poking Adam’s chest playfully before resting his head against it, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.

“Well, thanks,” Adam replied sarcastically, and Tommy lifted his head up to give him a quick kiss to show that he didn’t mean it.

The week may have gone by quickly, but not being around Adam at all was torture. Sure he had friends who he got along with, but he felt that no one understood him quite like Adam did. Adam understood him on so many levels, it would have been freaky if it wasn’t so perfect. Adam’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, gently stroking Tommy’s hair the way he liked it. Adam would forever tease him about being like a kitty when he got his hair stroked, but he couldn’t help leaning up into his touch and making a sound close to purring.

“Just...how we are together. It kind of makes sense for you to be in my life. It’s almost like–”

Adam lifted his chin up when he stopped abruptly and he blushed, trying to focus on something other than those electric blue eyes that made his mouth run without his mind thinking. With Adam, there seemed to be no filter, and he always ended up saying something stupid.

“What were you gonna say?”

Tommy fidgeted with his hands. “Nothing, it’s fine. I was just gonna say something sappy that I probably wouldn’t be able to live down for the rest of my life.”

Adam frowned, and that was when Tommy knew that he was just going to push until he told him. “You can tell me anything. I know you feel uncomfortable being all sentimental sometimes, but it’s fine with me. I won’t judge you, Tommy. You should know that.”

Tommy sighed, and hid his head in Adam’s neck, mumbling something quickly that came out muffled. When he realized that Adam hadn’t heard and that he was still waiting for an answer, he lifted his head out of its hiding place.

“I was going to say that it’s almost like we’re made for each other,” he spoke in a rush, words jumbling together so that Adam had to wait a few seconds before he understood what he had said. When he worked it out, his eyes turned soft and the corners of his mouth had quirked up.

“When you say things like that, never feel embarrassed about it. I love it when you open up like this. It makes me feel even more connected to you.”

Tommy’s face was flushed from blushing, but he lay his head back down on Adam’s chest, content to just lay there with Adam until their time was up and the phone rang. 

~~~~~~~~~~          

 

A couple of days after Aiden and Adam had gotten back from their vacation, Adam broached the subject of Tommy’s birthday. He had been thinking about something special that he could do for him. He had already brought him his gift, but what he really wanted was to spend more alone time with him, like he had for the past week with Aiden. He knew that it wouldn’t be able to be quite as long for them, but he was hoping that it would enough.

At first, Adam didn’t think that he would be able to do what he had wanted for Tommy’s birthday, which was coming up fast. But then his hopes for a weekend of camping with Tommy for his birthday reminded him of when Aiden had been away from him with his friends in Italy, and he figured that if Aiden could spend a night away from him in a foreign country, he could spend two nights away from him in a place where he was comfortable. He still felt a little guilty at the idea of leaving him when he had never spent a night away from him before, save for that night in Italy. But it was something he had only ever dreamed of: spending an entire night with Tommy. He knew that it might sound insignificant to others, but to him it was something that kept him awake at night when he thought of Tommy on his own.

He walked into the kitchen to find Aiden sitting at the counter on his phone. He glanced up when he heard Adam approach and smiled briefly before averting his eyes back to the phone. Adam placed his hand over the one holding the phone and rested it on the counter so that Aiden wasn’t looking at to anymore.

“Can’t you ever put that phone down?” Adam asked, eyes crinkling at the corners when he saw Aiden reach over to where Adam had put it and tap something away on it before setting it back down.

“Sorry. Are you attention starved or something?”

Adam sat down opposite him, taking his hand and rubbing slow circles on his palm to distract himself from the guilt his words were going to bring on. “I wanted to ask you something...” his voice went high at the end to make it sound like a question, and he hated how unsure he sounded. It wasn’t like him to be so unsure about anything. Usually, he would dive headfirst into something without thinking about the consequences.

But he felt torn. He wanted to do this for Tommy, but he didn’t want to leave Aiden on his own. Sometimes, he wished he could be in two places at once. He could spend an amazing weekend with Tommy whilst knowing that Aiden was safe at home with him. But that was just wishful thinking.

“Spit it out, Adam,” Aiden said, a concerned look on his face despite his playful words.

Adam sighed, wishing that it wasn’t so hard for him to just say what he really wanted. But then, he probably wouldn’t be in this situation at all now, would he?

“I was thinking of doing something for Tommy. A kind of early birthday present.”

Adam thought he saw a strange look pass over Aiden’s face at the mention of Tommy’s name, but it seemed to disappear as soon as it had came.

“Why are you asking me about it, then? You know Tommy better than me.”

Adam shook his head. “No, I’m not asking what I should get him. I was asking if you’d be alright with me and him going camping for the weekend. He’s always wanted to do it but he’s always said he’s never found the time.”

Adam kind of hated how he lied about Tommy wanting to go camping, when he knew that he would probably refuse to go if it wasn’t for Adam being there with him. It was Adam that really wanted to go, to be able to go to a place where there was nobody but him and Tommy to do whatever they pleased.

He wanted to be able to connect with nature the way he used to before the places he visited were fascinating blurs. He wanted to be able to show Tommy how beautiful life could be, even in the simplest of things, like people had taught _him_. But most of all, he wanted to know what it was like to spend hours upon hours with Tommy without any interruptions. He wanted to know if they’d irritate each other after that long or match each others moods easily the way they did on tour.

Essentially, he wanted a snippet of what life would be like with Tommy, even if it would be in a completely different environment and very much a fantasy. True, he wasn’t really the ‘camping type’, but it was the best excuse that he could think of and if it meant spending a whole weekend with Tommy, he definitely wasn’t complaining.  

“Why do you feel like you wouldn’t be able to go?” Aiden asked, and Adam jerked his head back up to meet his eyes.

“Well, you know, the only time you’ve spent a night away from me was at Italy. I didn’t know whether you still needed me with you at night.”

Aiden shrugged, his lips curved into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You can go. It would be good for me to have some time alone, I think, and you should be able to do what you want without worrying about me.”

Adam frowned. “I don’t want you to feel like that. I _should_ worry about you. It would be wrong of me if I didn’t.”

“That’s the thing, though. Sometimes you worry _too_ much. I need to be able to handle things on my own, Adam, or I’m never going to be able to do anything.

“I know that I wasn’t exactly confident with being who I was when we started dating, but because of you and everyone around you showing me that it’s okay to be openly gay, I’m so much more confident with myself. Sometimes I think you see the person I was then and not who I am now.

“So, the answer’s yes. I may have only been away from you one night, but it made me realize that I don’t need you around me to feel comfortable all of the time.”

Adam blinked, then his face lit up and he jumped up to hug Aiden tightly. “I’m so proud of you. And I’ll try to stop worrying so much,” he whispered into Aiden’s shoulder.

Aiden just held onto him weakly, and Adam could swear that the cough that came out of his mouth sounded more like a sob.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam knocked on Tommy’s door bright and early on Saturday morning, huge duffel bags in both hands. He’d packed his makeup bag and enough outfits and accessories to last a week, as he knew that if he only packed a couple of outfits he would no doubt want something else. It was common knowledge among his friends that he tried on at least three outfits before deciding on the perfect one.

He grinned when Tommy opened the door, hair tousled and mouth open mid-yawn.

“What the hell are you doing here at this time?” he grumbled, stepping aside to let Adam through. Tommy went straight to the coffee machine, pressing the buttons robotically until he had the coffee cup in his hand. He sighed as he drank, his eyes looking more alive.

“I still don’t see how you need coffee to function properly,” Adam said, setting his duffel bags down with a groan. Maybe he _had_ packed a little too much.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Tommy replied.

“We’re going camping,” he said simply, expecting Tommy to at least look a little excited. Instead, Tommy just stared at him like he’d lost his mind.

“What do you mean we’re going camping?”

“For your birthday. Think of it as an early present. We’re gonna be camping for the whole weekend!” he said enthusiastically.

Tommy frowned. “You should know by now I’m not the camping type.”

“I know that. But it’s a way that we can be out alone together without the paparazzi watching our every move.”

Tommy bit his lip. “What about Aiden? Will he be alright?”

Adam nodded. “He seemed okay about me going. I was a little worried at first about leaving him, but he convinced me that it would be good for him to have some time on his own.”

“As long as you’re sure…”

“I’m a phone call away if needs me. It’s fine. I promise. It’s just gonna be us, for two nights, all alone.”

Tommy smiled. “Okay, maybe I’m warming to the idea.”

“Come on then, you’ve gotta get packing!” he shouted, guiding Tommy to the bedroom.

“You know, you could’ve given me a little more notice,” Tommy pointed out.

“It’s more fun this way.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and watched as Adam went out to get a bag for him to pack his stuff. He turned to his wardrobe and started sorting through his clothes. He had to admit, he was getting quite excited now that he thought about it. Spending a full night with Adam was something he had dreamed of.

 By the time Adam was back, he’d picked out a couple of outfits to take with him and was just about to search for his makeup bag when Adam stopped him.

“There isn’t enough time. You don’t need makeup. I want us to be there super early,” he said as he placed Tommy’s clothes in the bag, buckled it shut and hitched it onto his shoulder.

“I bet you’ve got makeup in your bag.”

“Yeah, but I had more time than you,” Adam reminded him, walking back into the living room and picking up his own bags. He wrapped an arm around Tommy and walked them to the door, chuckling at Tommy’s mournful glance back at his bedroom.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam kept his hands over Tommy’s eyes as he led him to where they would be camping. When he had positioned Tommy exactly where he wanted him to give him the best view, he withdrew his hands.

He watched smugly down at Tommy as he looked around in amazement.

“It’s beautiful,” Tommy breathed, leaning back against Adam’s chest and drinking in with his eyes what was surrounding him.

There was a canopy of trees all around them, creating a globe-like sphere. A break could be found in the leaves where the crisp grey sky could be seen. All Tommy could hear was the soft chirping of birds in the distance and the serene sound of rushing water. It was like their own little world where they could forget about everything else. He felt a surge of gratitude that Adam had brought him here.

“Okay, I may have been mad at you for not giving me any notice, but this is so totally worth it,” Tommy said, twisting in Adam’s arms to give him a soft kiss.

 Adam smiled but loosened his grip around Tommy’s waist. “As much as I’d love to just stand here and hear you compliment me on my fabulous idea for a birthday present, we do have to put up the tent.”

Tommy groaned, letting Adam take his hand and lead him to where they had parked the car. “Can’t we just sleep in the car instead?”

Adam shook his head in exasperation as he pulled the tent out from where he had stored it. “Then it wouldn’t really be camping though, would it? Now come on. You’ll have to help me with this.”

As it turned out, Tommy ended up putting up the tent all on his own while Adam huffed that he could have done it if he had given him the chance. But Tommy had seen Adam attempt to assemble the tent and he was not going to sleep in that mess for anyone. Besides, he could remember doing all of this stuff the time he had went camping with his family. It wasn’t that much of a big deal.

Afterwards, Adam led him down a trail, telling him that he wanted Tommy to see something. He held him around the waist when he stumbled over fallen branches and rocks. His legs were aching by the time they got to the place that Adam wanted to show him and Adam had to nudge him lightly to get him to look up from where he was watching his feet.

Now that he was here, he could hear more clearly the gentle trickle of water as the wind blew against its surface. The lake was stood there in the middle of a clearing in the forest like it belonged there. Tommy had no idea how Adam had found this place to take them to.

He turned to him, growing suspicious when he spotted the gleam in Adam’s eye that told him he was planning something.

“What are you planning?” he asked.

Adam grinned. “Nothing. I was just thinking…I don’t think the water will be too cold…”

Tommy shook his head. “As nice as it might look, I am not going in there. Who knows what kind of bugs are in there?”

“Please? A few bugs aren’t going to hurt you,” he replied, laughing at Tommy’s raised eyebrow, “okay, okay. I’ll go in first, right?  
 Check that it’s not too cold and everything. But once I give it the all clear, you have to go in.”

Tommy nodded and watched as Adam stripped off his clothes up to his boxers and shivered in the cool air. Then, he lowered one leg into the water, pulling away with a yelp almost as soon as he had it in.

  
“I’m guessing it’s cold?” Tommy asked with a smirk. Yeah, that was another reason why he didn’t want to get into that lake. He absolutely hated the cold.

Adam tried to stop his shivering and forced a smile his way.”Just a little cool.”

He stepped in again and waded in until the water came up to his waist, his arms crossed tightly around his chest.

Tommy grinned. "Just be honest. It's killing you, isn't it?"

"It's not too bad, actually. And its sand underneath which is really soft and I can't see any bugs in here..." Adam gently pleaded.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. I'll get in." He stripped his clothes off quickly and walked carefully to the water's edge, dipping his foot in and jerking back just as Adam had done.

"You said it was cool, not freezing!"

Adam gave him a sheepish smile. "When you get in fully it's a lot warmer."

Tommy sighed, knowing that Adam wasn't going to give up until he went in with him. Besides, he hadn't had a shower this morning because of Adam waking him up early, so at least he could get cleaned up in the lake.

Taking a deep breath, he walked right into the water, unable to stop the tremors that racked through his body.

"Liar," he said as he slowly made his way to Adam's side, huddling in to him close.

"Sorry. I had to get you in somehow. But we probably will warm up if we do something."

Tommy frowned. "And what do you mean by that?"

Adam just smirked and before Tommy could cast him another suspicious frown, Adam’s hands were under the water and tickling his sides mercilessly. Tommy giggled uncontrollably and squirmed, ducking under the water to get Adam's hands off him. Tommy thrashed around trying to dodge Adam's hands, swimming farther away when Adam wouldn't give up. Adam chased Tommy in the water, trying not to laugh at Tommy's attempts to throw him off.

 After a while, Adam noticed that Tommy had slowed down slightly and took it as his chance to swim faster until he caught up with him, hands reaching out to pull Tommy against his chest. They floated up to the surface, Tommy spluttering from the water he had breathed in when Adam had surprised him. Adam waited until Tommy had controlled the coughs and turned him in his arms. Tommy laughed at Adam's hair, which was dripping wet and flopped over one eye. He lifted one hand to gently brush back the hair from his eyes.

“You warm now?” Adam murmured, arms stroking over Tommy’s bare arms.

Tommy nodded, his heart still racing from the chase. A drop of water fell from his hair to his lips, and he licked it away automatically. He watched as Adam’s eyes travelled down to his lips, a hungry look in his eyes.

Adam tilted his head to the side. “I never thought a person could look so good wet.”

Tommy laughed and tiny ripples formed in the water from the movement. He took one more step towards Adam so that he was right up against his chest and looked up at him through a fan of blonde hair.

Adam tucked the hair that was concealing Tommy’s eyes behind his ear, leaning in until his forehead was touching Tommy’s. They stared into each others eyes silently until Tommy leaned up and pressed his lips against Adam’s in a sweet kiss, fingers threading into his hair. Adam tightened his grip around Tommy’s waist and pushed into the kiss, feeling the need to wrap himself up in Tommy as much as he could.

When the kiss ended, Tommy smiled up at Adam. “I can’t believe I’m going to get a whole weekend of you to myself.”

“So this is a good birthday present?”

“This is the best birthday present ever,” Tommy answered, pulling Adam down to share another kiss.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
They collected wood for a fire when they had dried off from swimming in the lake. Adam had tried a dozen times to get a fire going but wasn’t able to, so in the end Tommy took over and soon they were sitting in front of a roaring fire.

“How come you’re so good at these things? The tent, the fire…”

Tommy shrugged. “I guess I can still remember from when I went camping as a kid. I can definitely remember swearing never to go camping again.”

Adam laughed. “Sorry to make you go back on your word. I really should have planned this out more carefully. I had no idea how hard camping was until now.”

Tommy rested his head on Adam’s shoulder, watching the flames flicker. “Good thing you’ve got me with you then, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” Adam said, gathering Tommy in his arms and watching the flames with him.

They ate the food Adam had brought with him when they were hungry, Adam laughing at Tommy’s complaining of camping food. The time passed easily, light fading to dark gradually. The night air changed from cool to icy, so they clambered into the tent, falling down clumsily whilst holding onto each other.

Tommy gazed down at Adam from where he was beneath him, ducking his head and pressing soft kisses to his neck. He felt Adam arch his neck further, displaying a pale expanse of skin for him to suck and bite on. They stayed like that for a while, Adam’s handing running over Tommy’s body lazily while Tommy paid attention to Adam’s neck. He stopped as soon as Adam tugged lightly on his hair, knowing that he couldn’t go as far as to mark him, much as he wished he could show that Adam was his, at least sometimes.

Adam pulled on his hair again until he had his mouth on Tommy’s, letting him control the kiss for a moment before taking full control and rolling them over so that he was on top. He felt Tommy’s growing erection pressing into his thigh and moaned lowly, grinding down and listening to Tommy’s answering moan.

There wasn’t much room in the tent, so he shifted until he found a more comfortable position and continued to rub up against Tommy, leaning in to trace his lips with his tongue teasingly. He felt Tommy buck up against him, his hips snapping up of their own accord. Adam tried to match the rolls of his hips until he found a rhythm. Tommy’s fingers clutched at Adam’s arms as he let the movements of their hips take him over, no doubt leaving indentations in the shape of his nails.

Adam thrust against him in reckless abandon, all the while watching Tommy’s face as he reached his climax. The pure pleasure on his face made his own thrusts become erratic until he felt heat pool at the base of his spine and wetness between his thighs.

He lay his head down on Tommy’s chest, breaths hot and quick as he came down from the high of his orgasm. When he heard Tommy’s heartbeat slow down and his own breaths steadied, he moved off of Tommy and lay down next to him.

After a while, Tommy propped himself up on his arm and looked Adam’s way, taking in the light in Adam’s crystal blue eyes. “You look happy,” he said thoughtfully.

Adam smiled. “I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Tommy shook his head. “You just look happier than I’ve seen you in a while. It’s nice to see.”

“I guess it’s nice to just forget and pretend that things aren’t so complicated.”

Tommy moved closer to Adam, fitting his body against his larger one. The way they could fit together easily always made Tommy feel better, feel that this is where he should be.

He knew that this was probably as best a time as any to talk to Adam about what they were doing like Monte had told him to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not yet, anyway. He didn’t want to ruin the rest of their time here by bringing it up and he didn’t know what Adam’s reaction might be.

They had only ever talked properly about what they were doing the night they had agreed to continue it, but things had changed so much since then. The _rules_ had changed and they both knew it. Tommy could only hope that he would gather enough courage to talk to Adam about it the next day.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam awoke feeling guilty. He couldn’t help it. He would be so happy one day and would forget about everything but Tommy and how much he loved him and then the next day he would be full of guilt for what he was doing. He had hoped that the camping trip wouldn’t be like that, that he could just forget about everything for the whole weekend. But the guilt wasn’t something that could be switched on and off. It crept up on him and stayed there until it felt like going.

His mind wandered to what Aiden might be doing right now. He had an urge to text him and make sure that he was alright. Aiden might have convinced him that he would be able to cope on his own when he was right there beside him, but now that there was distance between them he could only imagine Aiden needing him there when he wasn’t.

It made him feel slightly better when he imagined his friends there with him, like they had been with him that night in Italy. He was glad that he had made some friends who weren’t in Adam’s circle. He got along with everybody Adam hung with fine, but it was nice that he had his own friends who he could count on when Adam wasn’t there.

A muffled noise beside him broke through his thoughts and he turned to see Tommy stretching sleepily.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Adam said, mussing up Tommy’s hair.

“It’s nice waking up to you in the morning,” Tommy said.

“Please, don’t. I look like a mess in the mornings.”

Adam made to get up and find something to style his hair with but Tommy stopped him with a hand on his arm. “You look beautiful… don’t insult yourself.”

Adam smiled gently, lifting up the hand that was on his arm and kissing it before pulling one of his bags towards him and rummaging through it.

“I think it’s only fair that if I don’t get to wear makeup, then you don’t,” Tommy said, interrupting the search for eyeliner.

Adam turned to him. “But you can afford to not wear makeup…”

Tommy just fixed him with a look that told him not to argue.

“Okay, I’ll just wander around looking plain, then,” he said as he threw his bag in the corner of the tent.

Tommy took Adam’s face in both of his hands, making sure that he was looking directly into his eyes before speaking. “You could never look plain.”

Adam planted a kiss on Tommy’s lips before pulling him up and towards his bag.

“Come on. Get changed and we can look around the area some more. I saw another trail headed opposite to the lake that we can follow today.”

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
They trekked through the forest for most of the day, following the trail Adam had pointed out. It led to nowhere, just a clump of trees in an open space, but Adam quelled Tommy’s complaining easily enough. On the way back, they walked slower and just talked. It felt nice to be able to talk without any interruptions and to know that they didn’t have to think about the time. Whenever they lapsed into a comfortable silence, they listened to the birds singing and the whistling of the wind until they thought of something else to say.

By the time they got back to their tent, their legs were aching and all they wanted to do was go straight to sleep. They didn’t, though, knowing that the time they had together was quickly running out and that they would have to leave in the morning. Tommy wanted to make the best out of the day he had left.

They huddled together in the tent, away from the bitter cold wind outside. Tommy didn’t know how long they had lain there, piping up every now and then with random conversation when they weren’t touching and kissing, when Adam suggested going outside to watch the stars. Tommy didn’t even know when it had gotten dark. Time seemed to have flown by so quickly while they were in the tent just basking in each others company. But when Adam pulled back the flap on the tent, he could see that it had grown dark enough for the stars to be seen.

“But it’s cold,” Tommy complained, shivering already from the cold that had seeped in through the opening in the tent.

“We can bring the blankets and the sleeping bag outside. Come on, it’ll be romantic. And I can point out some stars to you,” Adam urged.

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Okay, then. But I’ll only come if you promise not to tell me star names. You’ve told me enough times that I should be an expert by now.”

“I’m sure I haven’t told you them all…but I promise.”

Tommy smiled and held out his hand, allowing himself to be pulled up from his cocoon of blankets. They dragged out the huge sleeping bag and all of the blankets and set them down in the middle of the campsite. They lay down on top of the sleeping bag, gathering up the blankets to drape over them.

Tommy had to admit that it was romantic. The moonlight cast a silver glow on Adam’s face, allowing him to see every single freckle in the darkness. Despite his promise, Adam told him the names of certain stars and it was almost like a lullaby. He found his eyes had slipped closed when Adam nudged him and turned over onto his front.

“I have something for you,” he whispered.

Tommy blinked his eyes open, noticing that Adam had a small velvet box in his hand.

“What do you mean?”

“For your birthday. Surely you didn’t think that I wasn’t going to buy you something?”

Tommy frowned, sitting upright and facing Adam. “Well, yeah. I mean, I thought _this_ was my birthday present,” he gestured to the campsite.

“It is. But I got you something else,” Adam explained, handing Tommy the box and gesturing for him to open it.

Tommy bit his lip. “You shouldn’t have…”

“I wanted to. Open it.”

Tommy carefully opened the box, his eyes going wide when he saw what was in there. It was a necklace, silver to match the moonlight shining on Adam’s face with two symbols that Tommy recognized interlocked. He leaned in closer and realized that it was the Aquarius and Libra symbols.

“Do you like it?” Adam asked, his tone worried as if he thought Tommy might hate it.

Tommy met Adam’s eyes, a wide grin spreading on his face, which seemed to make Adam relax. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck, kissing his neck and whispering in his ear, “Thank you. I love it.”

Adam sighed. “Thank God for that.”

Tommy chuckled, the necklace still clutched in his hand. He couldn’t stop marveling at the way it glistened in the light. Dropping his arms from around Adam’s neck, he tried to put it on, stopping when Adam batted his hands away and did it for him. The coolness of the symbol against the dip in his neck made Tommy’s heart feel warmer.

They sat holding each other for a while, before Tommy decided that he had to follow Monte’s advice. He couldn’t put it off any longer.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he murmured, hating the way the words sounded, like it was something dreadful.

“What about?” Adam asked, and Tommy could tell that he was trying not to worry, so he found his hand and fit his fingers in the spaces.

“It’s not too bad. Don’t worry. It’s just…this thing we’ve got going. We shouldn’t be doing this, you know?”

Adam sighed heavily. “Trust me, I know.”

“I don’t know whether I can do this for much longer. I want to be with you and just you. And I only want you to be with me. I know we haven’t really spoken about this, but…will we ever be together? Like, properly together?”

Adam squeezed Tommy’s hand in his. “I hope so. You know I want to, Tommy, I really do. But there’s still Aiden and…I don’t know whether this is the right time for him.”

Tommy looked down at their joined hands and tried not to let his emotions overtake him. He shouldn’t have hoped that Adam would tell him he would break up with Aiden. He shouldn’t have been so stupid as to think that. “Will there ever be a right time to tell him?”

“I don’t know. But he’s being so much more independent now, Tommy. I think that the right time will be soon, but just not quite now,” Adam said. Tommy could tell that it was hurting Adam to speak about this, so he nodded and lay back down, pulling Adam along with him. Just as his eyelids were getting heavy again, he heard Adam speak again.

“I promise you, one day we’ll be together.”

Tommy didn’t answer, just squeezed the hand that was still holding Adam’s as he drifted in and out of sleep.  
 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

A week after the camping trip, Tommy heard a knock on his door and jumped up to answer it. He was expecting Adam over any minute now. When he opened it, however, he found Isaac standing there with a pained expression on his face. Tommy didn’t say anything, just opened the door wider so Isaac could come inside and followed him into the living room.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. He didn’t think that he had ever saw Isaac look so miserable in all the time he had known him.

“It’s…Sophie,” Isaac croaked out.

“What do you mean? Is she alright?” Tommy asked, all sorts of things running through his mind before Isaac nodded his head. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Isaac let his head fall back on the couch, rubbing at his eyes. “We had an argument.”

“Well, lots of couples argue. It’s only natural…” Tommy stopped at the look in Isaac’s eyes.

“This felt like more. We’ve only ever had stupid arguments before. It’s never been real like this,” he said.

“Well, what was it about?”

“Things have been a little rocky for weeks. You know when you told us to talk?”

Tommy nodded.

“We didn’t so much talk as say it was nothing and ignore that things weren’t right between us,” Isaac confessed.

“You should have talked. That’s the only way you’re going to get to the bottom of what’s wrong and deal with it,” Tommy said.

“I know what’s wrong. She told me that she wanted to spend more time with me, but because I’m so busy with Ravi’s gigs and that, we’ve been spending less and less time with each other. “

“Isaac, it should be her you’re talking to about it. Not me. She needs you to talk to her,” Tommy encouraged.

“I will. And this time, we’ll actually talk. Listen, can I stay the night? I don’t wanna to go back there tonight. I think it would be best once we’ve both calmed down a little.”

“Of course. Let me just make a call.”

Tommy patted Isaac’s knee and got up from the couch, grabbing his phone and moving into the other room. He found Adam’s number and called him, waiting for the sound of Adam’s silky smooth voice to interrupt the annoying ringing.

“Hey,” Adam answered.

“Hey. Listen, I think I’m gonna have to cancel tonight. Isaac’s had an argument with Sophie and it looks like he needs the company,” Tommy said. It occurred to him that this was the first time he had ever cancelled on Adam.

“Oh, okay. Is he alright?” Adam asked in concern.

“He’s a little upset. This is their first real argument.”

“Go make him feel better, then. That’s what you do best. We can always rearrange,” Adam replied.

“Thanks, Adam. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Bye.”

Tommy smiled as he hung up. Adam could be so understanding sometimes. He knew that Tommy’s friends were important to him. He would never want to interfere with that and Tommy was grateful for it.

Getting out the ice cream, he went back into the living room to Isaac, determined to cheer his friend up.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy came down the stairs to find Isaac sitting up in his makeshift bed on the couch.

“Feeling any better?” Tommy asked, leaning on the back of the couch.

“Yeah. I just got off the phone to Sophie. We’re gonna have a really big talk about it all,” Isaac said, a smile appearing on his face when he talked about Sophie. Tommy wondered if he ever looked like that when he was talking about Adam.

“So, um….who was you on the phone with last night?” Isaac asked, fiddling with the edge of a cushion.

Tommy found it a strange question for Isaac to be asking him. “Why are you asking?”

 “I may have overheard some of your conversation.”

Tommy frowned. “Which part?”

“Well, when I say some of it, I mean…all of it,” Isaac admitted awkwardly.

Tommy thought back to his phone call to Adam. He didn’t think that he’d said anything out of the ordinary that Isaac could have picked up on. “And your point is?”

Isaac looked up into Tommy’s eyes, a worried look on his face. “Are you having an affair with Adam?”

Tommy lowered his eyes to the ground, and he knew that Isaac would take that as a yes. First Monte, now Isaac? Was he that obvious?

“Tommy…” Isaac said in a disappointed voice, and it just made Tommy feel all the more horrible.

“How did you guess?” he whispered, not quite ready to meet Isaac’s eyes.

“Well, I knew that the call was to Adam, because you said his name. And you said ‘I love you’ before you hung up. Now, I know that we all say that we love each other, but it sounded way more intimate.”

Tommy sighed, flopping down on the couch beside Isaac. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Isaac said simply. Tommy laughed.

“I’m sorry but it’s true. I’m not going to ask you about how it started or how long it’s been going on for, but you know that it’s not right.”

“I know. It’s a mess. It really is,” Tommy murmured.

Isaac looked at Tommy for a few seconds, clearly thinking of what he was going to say. “Is it true? Do you love him?”

Tommy nodded silently.

“Does he love you, too?”

“He says he does,” Tommy whispered.

“Then do the right thing. Break it off or tell him to break it with Aiden.”

Tommy nodded again, knowing that he was going to have to do it soon. He couldn’t live this lie for much longer, hanging onto Adam’s empty promises.

He felt arms wrap around him and he buried his face in Isaac’s neck, letting out the tears that he had been holding back ever since the trip.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam and Tommy were at a club the next night, making up for the cancelled date the previous night. Tommy giggled as Adam pulled him out onto the dance floor and into a cluster of bodies, gripping Tommy’s hips so they wouldn’t get separated. He encouraged Tommy to follow his lead and dance, but Tommy just shook his head and watched Adam move, knowing that he’d embarrass himself trying to dance while Adam was next to him.

Eventually, Adam persuaded him to sway along with him, hands on his shoulders to try and match the way Adam moved. He was having so much fun that he almost didn’t notice the way Adam stopped moving and looked over his head distractedly. When he did notice, though, he looked behind him to where Adam’s gaze was at and recognized a tuft of brown hair somewhere near the door.

Adam pulled Tommy from the dance floor over to the bar.

“Aiden’s here. I told him I was coming here with you. I guess he thought he’d come and surprise me,” Adam said hurriedly, glancing over to where Aiden was standing.

“I guess you should let him know where we are,” Tommy said, trying not to sound so disappointed.

Adam nodded and waved his hand above his head until Aiden noticed him. He came over then, his face bright with a smile.

“Hey! I thought I’d join you since my friends cancelled on me,” Aiden said, leaning up to give Adam a kiss.

“Should I get us some drinks?” Tommy asked, feeling awkward around Aiden the way he always was.

“Yeah, okay. Aiden, do you want to find us some seats?”

Aiden nodded and weaved through the crowds to the seating areas. Adam turned to Tommy when he was out of sight.

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” he said quietly.

Tommy shook his head. “It’s fine. Go and find Aiden while I bring the drinks over.”

Adam nodded and went after Aiden while Tommy ordered for them. He could tell already that it was going to be a long night.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
He was right.

Sitting there at a table with Adam and Aiden made him feel uncomfortable and guilty. Uncomfortable because Adam and Aiden were chattering away and, though Adam had prompted for him to speak a couple of times, he couldn’t help feeling left out. Guilty because the more time he spent around Aiden, the more he got to know him.

Sometimes, Tommy liked to pretend that Aiden was this big bad character, like out of the fairy tales, to make him feel less guilty. But when he was sitting there in front of him being his smiley self, he couldn’t possibly think of him like that. Seeing how much of a good person Aiden was made him feel terrible about himself and he wondered how Adam could stand living with him whilst knowing what he was doing behind his back. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to. Hell, just sitting at a table with him was making him feel like he should tell him the truth.

Tommy stood up abruptly and two pairs of eyes turned to him.

“I think I’m gonna go to the bar,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Adam asked, concern flooding his face.

“Yeah. I’ll catch you guys later.”

He walked quickly over to the bar, desperate to get away. He ordered a beer and turned to face the dancing crowd, catching a glimpse of Adam and Aiden in the corner at their table. They were laughing and joking and Tommy wondered briefly if Adam had made the right decision after all.

Aiden was a good person. He wasn’t selfish like Tommy and he didn’t seem to ever do anything stupid. Maybe Adam was better off with him. Maybe Tommy should just stop interfering in what could be a perfect relationship.

He thought about all of this as he downed drink after drink. It made the pain easier to handle.

He had lost track on what drink he was on when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He looked up, expecting it to be Adam, but instead he saw a tall man with sandy blonde hair standing beside him.

“Sorry to startle you. You just looked like you needed cheering up,” he said softly, taking a seat on the stool closest to Tommy’s.

“You could say that,” Tommy muttered, running a finger over the rim of his empty bottle of beer.

The blonde haired man smiled and Tommy figured that if he was going to sit there, he might as well talk to him.

Halfway through a conversation about some mindless thing that Tommy didn’t care for but kept going to keep his mind off Adam, he stood up to go to the restroom. The man reached out to catch his fall when he stumbled.

“Thanks,” he said, speech slurring slightly.

“I think you’ve had a little too much. Do you want to get some air?”

Tommy nodded. Anything to get away from the constant laughter of Adam and Aiden ringing in his ears.

He breathed in deep when the cold air hit his face, leaning against the wall beside the front door.

“So…are you single?”

Tommy sighed. He should have known that the man wouldn’t have just wanted to talk. He opened his mouth to say no, when he remembered that he wasn’t with Adam. Not properly. “Yeah.”

The man rested his hand on one side of the wall beside Tommy’s head, leaning in and making eye contact with Tommy to make sure he was okay with it. Tommy just stared back at him, not really seeing him. Instead, he was seeing the easy touches between Adam and Aiden that he had tried to escape. Before he knew what was happening, lips met his. Tommy froze in shock as the man moved his lips against his before placing a hand firmly on his chest and pushing. The man stepped back with a frown.

“I thought you said you were single.”

“I am. But I’m in love with someone. I’m sorry,” he said.

The man nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I guess I’ll go back inside, then,” he said, waving awkwardly before heading back.

Tommy rubbed a hand over his face, pushed off of the wall and made his way home.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
The next morning, Tommy had just gotten off the phone to Isaac, who had rambled on about how well he and Sophie were doing, when he heard a knock on the door. He went to answer it, a crease appearing between his eyes when the knocks became more frequent.

He opened the door, blinking in surprise when a whirl of black and glitter swept past him. Shutting the door behind him, he turned around to face Adam.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asked.

Adam shook his head slowly, a bitter smile showing on his lips. “Don’t act all innocent, Tommy.”

Tommy stepped closer to him, head cocking to the side in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“You and that man,” he muttered, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

Tommy thought back to the previous night and the man that had helped him outside. “What about him? Adam, tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

“I saw you with him, Tommy. I saw you leave with him, leaning all over him like that.”

Tommy’s eyebrows shot up. “You…you think I went somewhere with him? Really?”

“What else am I supposed to think? Are you really that stupid that you’d go off with some stranger?!”

Tommy flinched at the harsh words. He couldn’t believe that Adam would think he would do that to him. Didn’t he understand how he felt about him at all? “I would never do that to you. How can you think that? After all of the times I’ve said I loved you?”

Adam sighed, looking down at the floor. His fists slowly unclenched. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I was drunk and I needed to get out of that place. He just helped me out. He _did_ try and kiss me,” Tommy said, noticing the way Adam’s eyes darkened at the words, “but I pushed him away. End of story.”

Adam nodded. “I shouldn’t have even thought that you’d do that. It just…it hurt so much, imagining you with someone else.”

“That’s exactly how I feel when I see you with Aiden. _Now_ do you understand how bad it feels? And you were imagining that. I have to see it and know that it’s real.”

Tommy’s thoughts last night came back to him, and something inside him told him to say them to Adam. They couldn’t carry on like this. It had to stop. One way or another.

“All I could hear was you and Aiden last night. No matter how far away I was. And you sounded so happy. You _looked_ happy. It made me wonder that…maybe you’d be better off with him and without me. That might be the right thing to do,” he said brokenly.

He jumped when he felt strong hands at his shoulders and looked up into Adam’s clear blue eyes. “You make me happy. I’m at my happiest when I’m with you. You know it isn’t the right thing. I can’t be without you. One day, Tommy, we can--”

“No,” Tommy interrupted, “I don’t think that one day is ever gonna come. I can’t sit around waiting forever. You can’t just distract me with these promises that you’re not keeping again. I know you want to make sure Aiden is strong enough to cope without you, but the longer you leave it the worse it will be for him. You’ve already broken his trust. You can’t make up for that with extra time with him.”

“What are saying?” Adam asked.

Tommy took a deep breath, willing the words to come out even though he dreaded saying them. “I’m ending this now. I’m not going to share you anymore and neither is Aiden. You’ve got to choose: me or him,” he said, his words ringing with finality.

“You’re making me choose,” Adam said, like he was testing the words out to see how they sounded.

Tommy nodded. “It’s gone on for far too long. It can’t go on any longer.”

Adam just stood there for a second before taking Tommy in his arms and hugging him tightly. Tommy hoped that it was out of gratitude for making the decision to end the affair instead of a goodbye.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam shut the front door to his apartment quietly, still shocked about what Tommy had asked him to do. He had known that it would come sometime and he had been thinking about what it would be like for some time now. He just didn’t think it would be quite so soon.

It was the right thing to do, though. He knew it was. The longer he carried this whole thing on for, the more it would hurt all of them in the end.

Nevertheless, he still felt bad for what he was about to do. He couldn’t bear to see the look of betrayal on Aiden’s face when he told him what he had done.

“Adam? I didn’t think you’d be home so early.”

Aiden’s voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned around to see him standing in the doorway, a gentle smile on his face. It broke his heart to think that he would have to break that smile. But he knew that there was nothing that he could do about it. Maybe Aiden smiling so easily was a sign that this was the right time after all. This was what he had been working towards with him, to see him happy and his old bubbly self again. The thought of that spurred him on.

“I think you should sit down,” he said seriously, taking a seat himself. He watched as Aiden sat down next to him, looking him in the eyes with the same level of seriousness.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

                             
Tommy dialed the familiar number quickly, desperate to hear from someone who could reassure him that he’d done the right thing.

“Monte?”

“Tommy? Are you okay?” Monte’s voice sounded through the phone.

“I don’t know. I told Adam. I told him to choose.”

“Between you and Aiden?”

Tommy ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. It’s was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?”

“Of course it was. Tommy, if you’d have carried on like that, you don’t know when it would have ended. If he wasn’t going to stop it, you had to. Has he gone home to tell him?” Monte asked.

“That’s just the thing. After I told him, we hugged and he left. I’m kinda freaking out here. I mean, what if this means that I’ve lost him?”

“Don’t you feel better now that you’ve stopped it?”

Tommy thought for a moment. Though in his head he was thinking of how he may have just ruined everything he and Adam had, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, a weight that he hadn’t even realized was there until it was gone. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then you don’t have to worry about anything. You made the right decision when you ended this; now Adam’s gotta make the right decision for himself.”

“Thanks. I just don’t know what to do with myself now,” he admitted.

There was a pause, and then Monte spoke. “Maybe you should get out of the house. Go to a friend’s or something. Talk it out. You just need to clear your head a little. You could always stay over here for a couple of days. Lisa won’t mind and the kids love you.”

Tommy shook his head before remembering that Monte couldn’t see him. “No, that’s okay, man. You’ve got enough with the kids without having to look after me, too. I’ll sort something out.”

“Okay. But make sure you do. I don’t want to think of you sitting in your house all day being miserable. And you can always come to us if you need anything. Remember that.”

“I will. Thanks, Monte.”

“No problem, Tommy Joe.”

Tommy lifted the phone from his ear and set it down on the table. Before he could sit and dwell on his thoughts by himself for any longer, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“I have something to tell you.”

Aiden rested his head in his hands, staring down at the floor so Adam couldn’t see his eyes.

“I don’t know how to say this…you know I love you, right?”

Aiden tore his eyes away from the carpet, his eyes swimming in tears. “Go on.”

Adam took a shaky breath in, his heart thundering in his ears. “I…I’m so sorry.”

Aiden sat there waiting, his mouth a thin line. Adam reached out for Aiden’s hand and took it in his.

“I’ve been having an affair.”

There, he’d said it. It was finally out there. His heart felt lighter, but at the same time it ached at the pain he was causing Aiden. Nervously, he raised his head to meet Aiden’s eyes. The tears had spilled over and he was squeezing the hand Adam had in his, but he took it as a good sign that he hadn’t pushed him away and stormed off. So Adam continued, wanting to get it over with so the ache in his heart would lessen.

“It started at the end of Glam Nation. I want you to know, that I never _ever_ meant to hurt you,” his voice trembled. He wasn’t used to Aiden being so quiet and he didn’t know what to do with it.

Aiden scrubbed at the tears on his cheeks, even as more continued to trickle down. “Who was it with?”

Adam didn’t answer. He didn’t want to bring Tommy into this. But they had both been wrong in going behind Aiden’s back and he felt maybe Aiden deserved to know. Just as he opened his mouth to answer, Aiden spoke again.

“It’s Tommy, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice thick with tears.

Adam looked at him, surprised. “How do you know?”

   
~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tommy had driven aimlessly, just wanting to get away from it all. When he finally pulled himself away from the mess inside his head, he found himself a block away from Isaac and Sophie’s apartment. He smiled to himself. If anyone could help him sort out what was in his head, it was them.

He stopped the car when he was at their house and sat there for a minute until he saw a light switch on in the hallway. The door opened and he saw Sophie walking out to greet him. He jumped out of the car and met her halfway, wrapping his arms around her when he was close.

“What are you doing here?” Sophie asked; she must have guessed that this wasn’t just a casual visit. Tommy didn’t want to have to explain, but he knew that he needed to. Instead of replying, he inclined his head towards the house and Sophie nodded. They walked inside in silence, Sophie glancing at him curiously the whole way.

When they came to the living room, Tommy saw Isaac sprawled on the couch watching TV. He looked up at the sound of them approaching and smiled when he saw Tommy.

“Hey, bud.”

“Hey,” Tommy replied, and he knew that the weariness showed in his voice.

Isaac sat up slowly. “Are you okay?”

Tommy bit his lip. He really wished he could say yes. “I told Adam to choose. I ended the whole thing.”

Sophie blinked. “What thing?”

Tommy turned to Isaac. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I didn’t think it was something you wanted me telling anyone about.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you _want_ me to tell her?” Isaac asked.

Tommy nodded. As Isaac told her about his affair with Adam, it just made him miss Adam’s presence, almost as if he was gone forever.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“I’ve known for a while now. I guess I’ve always had an inkling that you were hiding something, but I didn’t really think too much into it until Monte slipped up that day. Then I thought about the way you acted sometimes, like you were guilty or something. I didn’t want to think that you were having an affair, but I knew deep inside that I couldn’t completely rule that out,” Aiden said in a monotone, almost as if he was willing himself not to feel. It hurt Adam to hear.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” he asked, still shocked that Aiden had any idea about what they had been doing.

“Oh, yeah, like I could really just ask you if you were fucking somebody else?” Aiden hissed. Adam knew that he deserved anything that Aiden threw at him, so he just waited for him to continue.

“I wanted to go to Italy because my friends were staying there and I needed to talk it through with them. I needed to try and understand everything that was going on.

“It helped, too. I told them everything I knew, asked if I was just being paranoid. They asked if you’d been spending a lot of time from home, but I told them that you were going to be busy, being who you are. And then it reminded me of what Monte had said, and I didn’t think anything about it at the time, but I can remember you and Tommy sharing this…look. Like you knew something no one else did.

“It made sense, then. Everything. The way you this look comes into your eyes when you talk about him, the way your face lights up when you’re near him. And the iPod that you had: I knew that I’d seen Tommy with it at rehearsals once. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t see it before. It was so obvious.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Adam said, watching Aiden’s face carefully. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t taken off yet.

“Then don’t say anything. I’m not done. And if you owe me anything, Adam, you owe me a chance to tell you what I’ve been going through.”

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy found himself caught between Sophie and Isaac on the couch, both of them with soothing hands on his back.

“I should have known. You were always so close. Thinking back on it now, I can’t believe that I didn’t know before. I still can’t believe that you acted on it in this way, though. If Adam tells him, Aiden’s going to be hurting so much,” Sophie said.

Tommy bit his lip. “I know. I wish we hadn’t acted on it like this. It was stupid.”

“How are you feeling?” Isaac asked.

“Terrible. I mean, it feels good to have done the right thing for once. But I just can’t help feeling that Adam might not think it’s the ‘right time’ again and then I’ve lost him forever.”

“Look, if he loves you he will break up with Aiden. I know before he’s stalled on that before, but this is the first time you’ve told him straight out to do something to end the affair. I know Adam, and he hates hurting people, but he also knows what he wants. If you’re the one he wants, you’ve just gotta believe in that and believe in him,” Isaac said.

Sophie nodded. “Adam’s a good man. He’s made mistakes in his life, and this is one of the biggest mistakes he’s ever made, but he’ll do what’s right in the end.”

“I hope so,” Tommy answered.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“I couldn’t go back to you once I’d figured everything out. I looked like a mess from crying and I didn’t think I’d be able to handle seeing you when I knew what you’d done behind my back.

“So, I stayed the night. It made me feel stronger, like I didn’t need you to be able to cope. And then when you said you were going on that camping trip with him, I was actually glad. It gave me some more time to think things through, to let out the feelings I’d been keeping locked up. I had to decide if I should tell you that I knew or not.”

“But you didn’t,” Adam whispered.

“No, because I knew that you’d leave me. And I thought that I might be able to handle not being with you this way, but not having you in my life would kill me.” Aiden’s voice broke on the last word, and he squeezed his eyes shut as tears cascaded down his cheeks again.

Adam instinctively put his arms around him, but jumped back when Aiden leaned out of his touch and continued.

“Tell me something, why didn’t you just break up with me before you cheated on me? It would have made things so much easier,” Aiden murmured.

“I know. But I knew that you needed me. It would have ruined everything if I’d have broken up with you then. You would have gone straight back to that broken man you used to be.”

Aiden stood up abruptly, eyes glaring through the tears and arms rigid at his sides. “That right there is what has made it worse for me, Adam!”

Adam blinked. “What? What do you mean?”

“You can’t get over the idea of me being this vulnerable man who can’t trust anybody, can you? I’m not him anymore. I’ve grown so much and yet you don’t see that,” Aiden said angrily.

“I _do_ see that. Aiden, I do.”

Aiden shook his head quickly. “No, I don’t think you do, Adam. You were the one who made me grow stronger and then you made me feel like I hadn’t. You not believing in me like that - it kind of made me live up to your expectations even though I knew better.”

Adam had never thought about it like that. He realized now that some of the things he had done for Aiden had been too much and maybe seemed like he didn’t feel that Aiden was able to do anything for himself. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, and he wondered how many times he would have to say that tonight until he could make Aiden understand how sorry he was.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“You know, sometimes I wish I was you, Isaac,” Tommy said sleepily.

Isaac frowned. “Why?”

“Because you have that kind of love with Sophie that’s so easy. I want that.”

Sophie came in with three mugs of tea then, and she laughed to herself whilst handing Tommy his.

“What’s so funny?”

“I just don’t see how you can call mine and Isaac’s relationship easy. It’s far from that. I mean, only a few weeks ago we were arguing non stop. I don’t think any kind of love is easy. But sometimes, it’s the harder ones that are the strongest. They’re the ones that get through almost anything and are still there at the end.”

Tommy cupped his hands around the mug, sighing at the delicious heat that only made him feel more drowsy. “Maybe. I’ve always wanted me and Adam to be like this one day, though.”

“Like what?”

“All domesticated and shit. Me cooking us dinner in our kitchen and him singing in our shower.”

“You cooking?” Isaac asked incredulously.

Tommy rolled his eyes as they laughed. “Okay, maybe he could be the one doing the cooking. But stuff like that, it’s something I’ve always pictured in my head.”

Sophie nudged him gently. “Don’t talk like it’s never gonna happen. You don’t know what Adam’s choice is yet.”

Tommy nodded, putting down his tea and settling back into the couch. His eyes felt heavy and he knew that sleep would take him away from his thoughts.

“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t think I can be on my own at the moment,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Sophie replied.

He smiled gratefully, settled deeper into the nest of cushions and felt his eyes finally slip closed.

                                               
~~~~~~~~~~

  
“You’re taking this better than I expected,” Adam said quietly. It had been silent for a while and he had just wanted to break the silence somehow. It was the truth, though. He had expected Aiden to take this a whole lot worse. He guessed that just proved that what Aiden had said was right: he was a stronger person now.

“Yeah, well, I had time to go through every single thing I’ve felt. Don’t you dare think that you haven’t hurt me, Adam, because you have. I may have known for a while now, but it doesn’t stop it hurting,” Aiden said.

“I know,” Adam answered.

“I was so angry when I first figured it out. I almost wanted to go home and leave you there in Italy. And then I felt this pain in my heart, like you’d ripped it right out. I cried for hours just thinking about you and Tommy laughing behind my back, knowing how stupid I was for believing all of your lies,” Aiden continued.

Adam felt the sting of tears as he listened to how Aiden had suffered. Silently, he held out his arms. He watched as Aiden looked down at him, a bitter look on his face. Slowly, though, his face softened and he sagged down into Adam’s arms, tears soaking through his shirt. Adam closed his eyes against his own tears and held him as close as he could.

“I’m still angry at you, you know,” Aiden said, arms still wrapped tightly around Adam’s waist.

“I know. You deserve to be. I don’t even know why you’re still here with me.”

Aiden pulled back. “Because, even when I was wishing everything on you for doing this to me, I knew you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know the kind of person you are. In a way, it was harder to hate you because you’re….you. I wish I could hate you sometimes. It would make things easier. I wouldn’t ever have to see you again. But I couldn’t,” he confessed.

Adam brushed away the remaining tears on Aiden’s cheeks. “If you let me, I’ll always be here for you. As a friend this time. One day, you’ll find someone who can love you the way I couldn’t. And I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you were weak, because this right here proves just how strong you are.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Aiden’s face and, though it was faint, Adam was glad to see it there. “Are you and Tommy in love?”

Adam nodded.

“Well, that’s something, I guess.”

Adam smiled. “I hope that one day you can find time to forgive us.”

“I can’t just forgive you like that. It’s gonna take a whole lot of time before I can truly forgive you both,” Aiden said, mouth opening in a yawn as soon as the words came out.

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Aiden nodded and leaned his head down on Adam’s shoulder, eyes closing. Adam sat there for a minute longer before the days events took its toll on his body and sleep overtook him also.

  
 ~~~~~~~~~~

   
Tommy woke groggily, arms coming up to shield his eyes from the light. He sat up slowly, taking in the couch he was lying on and the blanket that was draped over him. He frowned as he remembered why he was there, but a way-too-cheery-for-the-morning voice distracted him.

“Hey, do you want any breakfast?” Sophie asked.

Tommy shook his head. He doubted he would be able to eat anything now. Last night he was filled with self-doubt, but now his stomach was full of butterflies. He knew that he should get home and find out if Adam had broken up with Aiden for good, but he was so nervous that he didn’t think he would be able to make it until then. His hands wouldn’t keep still, and Sophie must have noticed because she put a hand over his to still them.

“You’re thinking too much. He would have made the decision by now. Nothing you can do can change it.”

“Yeah, I just…I kind of feel like I’m on a first date or something and I don’t know what to expect. Is that weird?”

Sophie looked at him thoughtfully. “Not really. You’re going to be nervous. You’ve put your whole relationship with Adam into his hands. But all of this worrying isn’t going to do you any good. You should eat.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “You sound like my mom.”

“Well, someone’s gotta look after you when you don’t look after yourself.”

“I should probably get going anyway. I don’t wanna miss him if he comes around,” Tommy said.

Sophie nodded and stood up, letting him follow her towards the door. Isaac came out of the bathroom then and pulled Tommy into a hug.

“Good luck. Not that you need it or anything. And tell us what happens. Not in any graphic detail, though,” Isaac said into his ear.

Tommy laughed. “Sure. See ya.”

He gave Sophie a quick peck on the cheek before going to his car and preparing to face what he had been hiding from for the past year.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Adam woke with a stiff neck and a weight on his shoulder. As he looked down at Aiden’s peaceful face, he thought back to what had happened the night before. He couldn’t help thinking of how selfish he had been, keeping two men at the same time and not treating them properly. If he had done what was right from the start, he could have been the perfect boyfriend for Tommy and been one of the most supportive friends Aiden ever had.

Now he thought about it, although it may be a little late, he could still be that person he wanted to be for both of them. This thought cheered him up a little, and he looked back down at Aiden to see that his eyes were now open.

“Hey,” Adam said softly, wondering briefly if Aiden would wake up and not feel the same way he did the night before. Adam was pleased to see Aiden’s slight nod at his words as he sat up straight and stretched.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be today?” Aiden asked.

“What?”

“With Tommy. Shouldn’t you be celebrating that you’re free of me?”

Adam sighed. “You know it’s not like that, Aiden.”

Aiden crossed his arms over his chest, and Adam could tell that he was trying to hold in some of the bitter feelings he still felt towards him. It was going to take time before his and Aiden’s friendship would be normal. He knew that. “Yeah, I know. I just…there’s so much going on in my head right now.”

“I don’t have to go to Tommy’s right now. I can go a little later…”

“No, you should go. It’ll give me some time to clear my head. Get your man,” Aiden said, and although he could hear the hurt in his voice as he said those words, he could tell that he meant them.

Adam nodded, gave Aiden a swift kiss on the cheek and walked out of the door.

It felt like a long drive to Tommy’s house, but it couldn’t have been that long. All the way there he was imagining how he’d tell him and what Tommy’s face would look like when he did.

When he finally arrived, he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and got out of the car. He didn’t know why he was so nervous.

This was Tommy, the man who he loved with his entire heart. But this was also new to him. He had never been with Tommy without being with Aiden at the same time. He wondered how different it would feel.

He knocked on the door lightly, knowing that it was still morning so Tommy might be asleep. When he received no answer, he knocked a little louder, but still there was no sign of Tommy.

He turned his head and caught out of the corner of his eye that Tommy’s car wasn’t there. His mind went wild.  He wondered if Tommy had had enough of the promises Adam hadn’t kept. Maybe he thought that Adam would break this final promise, too.

Surely he hadn’t just gotten what he wanted so much just to have Tommy taken from him? He wondered if he’d messed him around too much, carried this on for so long that maybe Tommy had given up hope for them.

He turned and leaned on the wall, the thoughts in his mind getting more irrational by the second. But he couldn’t stop them.

  
~~~~~~~~~~

  
Tommy tapped his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. He was stuck in traffic and the butterflies in his stomach had only grown, and he couldn’t stand sitting still for this long.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the cars around him started moving again, and flicked the radio on to distract him from his thoughts. Unfortunately, all the music did was irritate him, so he popped one of his own discs into the slot when he was at a red light.

He groaned when ‘Music Again’ came on, but he left it on because he liked the sound of Adam’s voice. Weirdly, it was soothing, not irritating like the generic music on the radio.

When he pulled up outside his house, he glanced out of the window and then did a double take. A long lean figure was leaning on the wall of his house, hands deep in his pockets. Adam looked up at the sound of the engine, and a bright smile appeared on his face.

Tommy’s heart skipped a beat and he quickly pulled his keys out of the ignition and jumped out of the car, nearly falling flat on his face in his rush to get to Adam.

Adam walked over to him hurriedly, and the glow in his face told him what he wanted to know. He had done it. Finally.

Adam scooped him up into his arms, his body warming up every inch of Tommy’s.

“You decided,” Tommy breathed, Adam’s hair tickling his nose.

“There was nothing to decide. It would always be you,” Adam replied, his hands rubbing up Tommy’s arms in an effort to take away the goose bumps.

Tommy pulled out of the hug, grabbed hold of his hand and led him inside, a grin on his face the entire time.

“Did it go alright? How’s Aiden?” Tommy asked, not able to keep his hands off of Adam now that he was all his. He still couldn’t get over it.

“He’s okay. It went better than I expected. He knew already.”

That came as a shock to Tommy, but just as he was about to open his mouth to ask another question, Adam put a finger to his lips. “Don’t. We don’t have to talk about that now. Can we just…lie down? We’ve never really had a chance to do that without interruptions.”

Tommy nodded, heading for the stairs and letting Adam follow him. His heart was still beating like crazy, but he could tell by the look in Adam’s eyes that he was in the same state as him, so it didn’t bother him too much.

They silently lay down on the bed they had lay in so many times before, hands running up and down sides and occasionally dipping into shirts to seek hot skin. Their faces were inches apart and they shared each others breaths as they gazed at one another. A glint of silver caught Adam’s eye and he looked down to see Tommy wearing the necklace he had given him. He fingered it gently, watching as it caught the light.

“It makes me feel…good, you wearing this. Almost as if this shows that you’re mine.”

Tommy snuggled closer. “I _am_ yours. It still feels weird that I can say that without feeling like I’m lying.”

Adam watched as Tommy’s eyelashes fluttered down to cast shadows on his cheeks, and he leaned in to press a kiss to each closed eyelid. “You have no idea how happy I am right now. I have everything I could possibly want.”

Tommy smiled. “You and me both. I was so scared that you were gonna say that you needed more time again.”

Adam shook his head. “I need you, Tommy. I couldn’t cope if I didn’t have this,” he gestured between them. Tommy captured Adam’s hands and held them in his, capturing his lips too in what felt like a promise. He moaned when Adam let him take control, the way he’d always wanted to. His tongue licked into Adam’s mouth in teasing strokes and he felt Adam’s hands stroke through his hair.

He wondered now if the reason he hadn’t wanted to surrender before was so that he could have control over some aspect of their relationship. It used to always be Adam deciding where and when they should meet. He guessed that he felt a need for that then to make him feel that he had everything under control, even when everything was spiraling more and more out of it. Now it seemed he didn’t need that, and everything was as it should be.

They pulled away to catch their breaths, faces flushed and bodies aligned.

“Every time I kissed you I used to have this guilt in the back of my mind, but now….I don’t. I can just kiss you without anything stopping me,” Adam said.

Tommy gave him one more kiss, chuckling when Adam tried to chase after his lips for more. “I know what you mean. We don’t have to feel like we’re doing anything wrong anymore. We don’t have to hide.”

It was true. As they lay there enjoying the beginning of what they had forever , it was hard to believe that something that started out so wrong could be so right. Adam didn’t have any ties to anyone but Tommy, and they were going to keep it that way.

 

 

  
 


End file.
